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[personal|cancer] Dreams and mortality - Lakeshore
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Jay Lake
Date: 2011-12-23 05:17
Subject: [personal|cancer] Dreams and mortality
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, dreams, health, personal, work
Last night's dreaming was varied. At one point [info]cmdrsuzdal and I were with [info]jlassen at a WFC apparently taking place on the set of Aeon Flux. Later, I was in post-apocalyptic Belfast as a partner in a law firm, my job largely being to torch surviving Victorian homes after looting them. Sort of Slightly Irritated Max instead of Mad Max.

But I woke up enough to interrupt the flow and lose a few. Mortality's on my mind again. It occurred to me recently that one way to think about my cancer risks is that we're all dying, I'm just probably dying a little faster than most of my peers. I want to write about that more than my brainspace is ready to cope with today, so maybe next week. I've got most of the week off and can really put some time into my thoughts, hopefully. For now, well, some Day Jobbery, then the holiday weekend.

Have fun, be well, celebrate what pleases you best.
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adelheid_p
User: adelheid_p
Date: 2011-12-23 16:18 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
A couple of years ago, my great aunt died of ovarian cancer (the same year my dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer). She was in her 90s and she refused treatment. In fact my dad said that she went about telling people she had the cancer and embarrassed my uncle who had taken her to the doctor. I didn't get to see her before she died (understandably, we were pre-occupied with my dad's situation) but I think she was ready and was happy to know how she would go. I don't think my dad or my uncle understood this even though my dad has said he is "ready to go".
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Jay Lake: cancer-do-not-want
User: jaylake
Date: 2011-12-23 16:50 (UTC)
Subject:
Keyword:cancer-do-not-want
I can understand her frame of mind, even though I do not share that. In a sense, I've been getting ready for a while, once we understood my cancer was going to be persistent and recurrent, rather than the oddball one-shot we originally believed it to be. So, well, good for her? One may as well control one's passing, as opposed to surrender to it.
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mlerules: hello cthulhu
User: mlerules
Date: 2011-12-23 17:54 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:hello cthulhu
we're all dying, I'm just probably dying a little faster than most of my peers

Heck, you've been going faster than your peers at just about everything for ever! Just wshing you'd take a freakin' break when it come to this stuff (dying) though, ya' know?!
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