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[food] The one true Pop-Tart - Lakeshore
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Jay Lake
Date: 2012-08-05 06:57
Subject: [food] The one true Pop-Tart
Security: Public
Tags:food, friends, funny, polls, portland
Jersey Girl in Portland and I were recently discussing the fact that she had made Pop-Tarts at home. Not toasted the store-bought kind, but actually fabricated her own toaster pastries from scratch.

I offered the observation that there was only one true Pop-Tart flavor, of which all others were pallid imitations and ersatz pretenders to the breakfast throne.

She agreed whole-heartedly.

I named the flavor in question.

She demurred with some vehemence.

An argument ensued. I believe at one point, I actually said, "One Pop-Tart to rule them all, One Pop-Tart to find them, One Pop-Tart to bring them all and in the darkness bind them."

Forthwith, she and I have agreed to lay aside our mortal dispute and ask the readers of this blog to vote on the one true Pop-Tart flavor. Your input in comments is appreciated as well. There may be prizes.

The poll is here.

Once the poll has run for a few days, I'll make a post tallying up the results, and also revealing which flavor I personally favored, and which pretender to the Pop-Tart throne that Jersey Girl in Portland mistakenly supports.

Mmm, Pop-Tarts.

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Steve: Anton Ego (Ratatouille)
User: anton_p_nym
Date: 2012-08-05 14:05 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Anton Ego (Ratatouille)
I stopped buying Pop Tarts when they withdrew Frosted Apple from the line-up, only very occasionally returning for S'more-flavoured ones when they're on sale.

-- Steve's resorted to cereal bars with apple-cinnamon filling as a replacement.
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Gary Emenitove
User: garyomaha
Date: 2012-08-05 14:09 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I am not particularly a Pop-Tart aficionado, but M -- when he speaks in hushed and reverent tones about Pop-Tarts -- always speaks of One and Only One flavor, and it is indeed frosted, and it is indeed listed on your poll. We'll see if it's your selection or not.
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Gary Emenitove
User: garyomaha
Date: 2012-08-05 14:11 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Oh...I once bought him said flavor, but unfrosted. If our relationship survived that, it can survive anything.
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Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2012-08-05 14:14 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
He is indeed a wise and benevolent partner if he can forgive a faux pas of that magnitude.
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scarlettina: Fork You Back
User: scarlettina
Date: 2012-08-05 14:20 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Fork You Back
Unfrosted strawberry for the win. Frosting only masks the taste of the fruity goodness. There are no substitutes.
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Lioness
User: elisem
Date: 2012-08-05 17:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hell yes.

Frosting gets in the way.

Also, some hardcores butter the poptarts before eating.
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horace_hamster
User: horace_hamster
Date: 2012-08-05 23:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I once (briefly) lived with someone who buttered the poptart before putting it in the toaster. Real life also has people who are TSTL.
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Deanne
User: deakat
Date: 2012-08-05 14:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
How could it be anything but frosted strawberry?
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adelheid_p
User: adelheid_p
Date: 2012-08-05 14:41 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Well, I think there are going to be people who fall into the camp of don't eat the fruit-filled (my husband will only eat the non fruit-filled ones) so that may present a bias on its own.

I know what I will chose, though.
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celestialgldfsh
User: celestialgldfsh
Date: 2012-08-05 14:51 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
There are a lot of recipes out there for homemade Pop-Tarts. I've made them using leftover pie dough with jam filling.

I've gotta say, I'm surprised frosted strawberry isn't leading, because in my world that's the quintessential Pop-Tart flavor.
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mmegaera
User: mmegaera
Date: 2012-08-06 04:29 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Another right-thinking person! Yes!
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martianmooncrab
User: martianmooncrab
Date: 2012-08-05 17:57 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
since you left Frosted Cherry off the poll, its Bogus!
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Karen
User: klwilliams
Date: 2012-08-05 17:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I see that the poll does indeed include the One True Flavor, though why you bothered to list blueberry as well I have no idea. The close second placed is frosted cherry, as every Right Thinker knows.
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desperance: luke
User: desperance
Date: 2012-08-05 18:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:luke
Hmm - your poll software says that I have voted already, which I have not. Perhaps it confuses me with m'lady wife...?
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Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2012-08-05 19:17 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I think you must be coming in from the same IP address, either through a shared computer or NAT on your home router. I believe that's the criteria it uses to prevent dual voting.

(Which we both can see obvious problems with in several dimensions. Nonetheless, unfortunately I can't do anything about it.)
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desperance: luke
User: desperance
Date: 2012-08-05 19:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:luke
Yup, I figured we must be sharing an IP address (tho' not a computer: she has one of those nasty Mac thingies, I am Linux to my soul).

In this instance it doesn't matter, as I have never actually consumed a Pop-Tart so had no valid vote to offer. If you post a poll where it Really Really Matters, I'll steal someone else's bandwidth to make sure my voice is heard.
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Tom
User: voidampersand
Date: 2012-08-05 18:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I submitted a comment and got a message saying it was submitted successfully and marked as spam. I guess because there was a link in it. Hmmm. Spam pop-tarts. Savory.
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Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2012-08-05 19:19 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
The other comment seems to have been swallowed. Hmm.
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Tom
User: voidampersand
Date: 2012-08-06 01:06 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
My favorite flavor is apricot. So I did a search for "apricot pop-tarts" and the first link was a recipe for homemade apricot brandy pop-tarts. Wow. So that is my nomination for the one true flavor.
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Tom
User: voidampersand
Date: 2012-08-06 01:06 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
It's better if you burn it.
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Elizabeth Coleman
User: criada
Date: 2012-08-05 22:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Well I'll say one thing: it's not cookie dough Pop Tarts. Those things were totally mediocre.
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derekjgoodman
User: derekjgoodman
Date: 2012-08-06 00:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
There was a typo in your poll. All options should have been cherry.
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User: lindadee
Date: 2012-08-06 03:03 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Cherry. With NO stupid frosting on top. Kellogg's hasn't made them in probably 20 years. (Yes, they make cherry, but only with frosting these days.)
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Renegade Vagabond
User: khaybee
Date: 2012-08-06 09:37 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Strawberry. Unfrosted. Homemade.

If you don't believe me, I'll make them the next time you're here.
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Button
User: supersniffles
Date: 2012-08-06 09:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I have commented on the poll, explaining why frosted Strawberry is no longer the one true Pop Tart Flavor.
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barbarienne
User: barbarienne
Date: 2012-08-06 14:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I am stunned by how many people love fruit Pop-tarts. Wow. I'm sharing the Earth with so many freaks!

;-P

The only true flavor is Chocolate Fudge. Pop-tarts are not real food, and all flavors that pretend to be real food are an abomination. At least the Chocolate Fudge flavor knows what it is. I can respect that.
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tina connolly
User: tinaconnolly
Date: 2012-08-07 21:23 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
This was generally always my thought on pop-tarts; thus, Smores. (But second was brown sugar/cinnamon.) I think the only time of my life that I ate pop-tarts was during college, when they were stocked in my schol hall.
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