Terror is a perfectly fine option in the circumstances.
I remember thinking that radioactive imaging is extremely cool. For reasons I'd rather not apply but don't have much choice about, I'm having it on a recurring basis myself. However, the coolness is definitely leavened with dread, and you, of course, more so.
FWIW, I'm still going with science and knowledge being more my friend than not knowing and merely having hopes and good wishes, though I reserve the right to change that opinion. I haven't any strength or other magical influences to offer via LJ, but I do offer profound respect.
P.S., and another thing -- on the matter of us adoptees and of 'real parents', I'll let this express my overall opinion: http://textsfromsuperheroes.com/image/36321393432