I am interviewed by Michael Ventrella
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) calendula_witch on why we blog
scarlettina documents, among other things, my remarkable forebearance at Imaginary WFC 2009
Greenland's ice sheet lost 1500 gigatons of mass from 2000 to 2008 — Another liberal traitor in the global warming conspiracy.
NASA finds reservoir of water ice on the Moon! — In case you missed this. Big news!
Sunrise over DIA — A nice image from APOD.
?otD: How much up would an woodchuck upchuck if a woodchuck could chuck upchuck up?
11/14/2009 Body movement: 60 minute urban walk (San Francisco hills!) Hours slept: 7.5 This morning's weigh-in: n/a (forgot) Currently reading: Finch by Jeff VanderMeer
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| 2009-11-11 03:27 |
| [links] Link salad thanks a veteran |
| Public |
| art, books, cancer, conventions, escapement, green, links, personal, politics, reviews, tech |
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Call for masks — A way of sticking it to my cancer.
Smart Bitches, Trashy Books gives a shoutout to Green [ Powell's | Amazon | Kindle | Barnes & Noble | Borders ] — Jay Lake’s Green has one of the most wonderful new female protagonists I’ve read in a while (Thanks to Cora.)
Foreign Service Journal reviews Escapement and Green here and here — (Thanks to my Dad.)
Google Dashboard: Now You Know What Google Knows About You — Um, yeah. (Thanks to lillypond.)
The Very Serious Paradox — The Poor Man institute calls out conservative doublethink on the role of government in society. (Admittedly not hard to do, but this one's still a doozie.)
?otD: Who will you thank for Veteran's Day?
11/11/2009 Body movement: n/a (traveling) Hours slept: 5.75 This morning's weigh-in: n/a (forgot) Currently reading: The Jade Man's Skin by Daniel Fox
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Since I'm not going to be at OryCon due to the thoracic surgery, and I'm kiboshing the Sunday visitation plan for reasons of respiratory health (will try to make the Skype thing happen, though), I have a new idea.
Jay Lake masks.
Could be stick masks, casts, abstracts, whatever. If you're an artist, or a crafter, or just want to have fun with it, make a mask of me. There's a kazillion photo references on my Flickr account. Bring it or send it to OryCon, or to your hometown con, and while I'm laid up from surgery (and later, chemo), I can be with you. I'll make a Flickr pool for the project, and later on we can have prizes and stuff.
But mostly for fun, and so I can go on being out in the world with you guys.
Make me a mask, if it pleases you.
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| 2009-11-06 05:40 |
| [links] Link salad sidles toward another weekend |
| Public |
| art, books, conventions, cool, healthcare, links, nature, personal, politics, reviews, science, steampunk, stories |
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METAtropolis [ Audible.com | Powell's | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Borders ] reviewed here and here — A mixed bag, at least for my story.
catrambo reports on the reading tonight here in Portland — I've dropped the ball on promoting this, but 6:30 pm at the Press Club in SE Portland, with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/syndicated.gif) jeffvandermeer, catrambo, tattoo artist-turned-author Jeff Johnson and my own bad self.
Goth scuplture — In an earlier sense of the term. Cool stuff. (Thanks to willyumtx.)
Sketching the Mechanical Elephant — No, that is not a euphemism. Art writing art Guru James Gurney on the giant mechanical elephant.
England's Ancient Ridgeway Trail — Mmm. Want to go. Someone want to invite me to a UK Con as GoH so I can do this stuff?
Dark Red Spot Found on Kuiper Belt Object Haumae — Wow.
Anonymous Doc on the divergent experiences of patients and doctors
Media bias in the Washington Post op-ed page — Liberal media much? I like his phrasing, one of those outlets typically counted as part of the "Liberal Media" by right-wing self-victimizers and their media amplifiers.
?otD: Would 'Thorax' be a great name for a villain or what?
11/6/2009 Body movement: 60 minute suburban walk Hours slept: 6.0 This morning's weigh-in: n/a (forgot) Currently reading: The Jade Man's Skin by Daniel Fox
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Went to see the thoracic surgeon today. ginastonge drove me, as I was extremely stressed out. The thoracic surgeon is young, capable and has an excellent chairside manner. This is much like my colorectal surgeon, frankly, though you'd never confuse the two of them.
He started by asking me a few questions about my medical and surgical history, ( and then drew a diagram of my lungs. [Much more detail under the cut, somewhat medical TMI.] )
What does this all tell me? Well, it reinforces that medicine is an art as much as a science. It confirms that this sucker is a problem, and is being addressed. But most of all, this tells me once again that when I have a course of action, no matter how dreadful things are, they are much more manageable than when I have only uncertainty before me. I expect the Fear will be a regular friend to me in these next few weeks, and I have a long-time horror of anaesthesia, but I will pass over these, too.
In the mean time, I believe I shall refer to my impending dip into surgery as a "nacho-ectomy".
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| 2009-11-04 05:01 |
| [links] Link salad sports a metaphor or two |
| Public |
| books, conventions, cool, culture, funny, links, personal, photos, politics, science, trains, videos, weird |
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Yokimo the Goat gets around — World Fantasy Convention from the caprine perspective.
Two Lumps takes on NaNoWriMo — With a sideswipe at Stephenie Meyer.
Bullet train patent design — Mmmm.
The Adventures of Lil' Cthulhu — Want a child-friendly way to introduce your little one to the traditions of the Old Cult? Meet little Cthulhu, who lives in the magic city of R'lyeh with all his friends, as you and your child embark on a fun and educational journey through the world of the Great Old Ones (Thanks to willyumtx.)
RearGear — The ultimate in repressed Americana. Weird. (Thanks to ginastonge.)
Glacier Man — This is very cool.
Why does driving bring out the worst in people? — I've asked this exact question a number of times. The same person who will hold the door for you at the bank will viciously run you to the shoulder in traffic.
CNBC's Darren Rovell: NYC marathon winner not a real American since he's originally from Africa — Best smackdown of Nativism EVAR. And what did you do, Darren, to become an American? You were born here to American parents - that must have been real hard work fighting your way through your mother's birth canal. I'm sure childbirth taught you a lot more about liberty and freedom than a guy who escaped a civil war to come to a land where he could be free.
Making Light with a lot more on the Meb Keflezighi story referenced above — I was struck by Abi Sutherland's comments that "Leaving the US is apparently very unpatriotic; learning about other cultures is suspect, and moving abroad all but treason". I have that problem, too, to a smaller degree. Because of where I was born and how I was raised I don't have a "home town", I'm not "from" anywhere in the usual sense of that phrase. A (former) friend back in Texas used to insist I couldn't possibly be Texan, despite six generations of ancestors there, because I wasn't born in Texas, like she was. To her logic, I'm not even American. Um, no.
?otD: Why is a strike good in bowling but bad in baseball?
11/4/2009 Body movement: 15 minutes of meditation and stretching, 30 minute stationary bicycle ride Hours slept: 6.5 This morning's weigh-in: 233.0 Currently reading: The Jade Man's Skin by Daniel Fox
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Since the diagnosis of my lung tumor last week, I've managed to be phenomenally busy (and therefore distracted) almost continuously. This includes quite notably a long, busy weekend as Toastmaster at WFC 2009 in San Jose in the close, loving company of calendula_witch. On my (delayed) way home now, to the peaceful quiet of my home, therein to dwell with only the echo of my thoughts. I've been very deliberately postponing much of this stress, reveling in the distractions, and charging forward toward the cliff that is surgery, biopsy and chemo. The debts of that postponement are being called in.
I know I am strong, but this will be tough.
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Well, that was quite something. One of the more intense convention weekends of my life, and quite amazing. WFC 2009 in San Jose was very well run, my Toastmaster experience was flawless, I had a great time on my panels, my speech at the World Fantasy Awards went over well, the cheese party was awesome, and calendula_witch's birthday was a rousing success. Spent loads of time with zellandyne, brendacooper, shelly_rae, la_marquise_de_, desperance, Mark Ferrari, bravado111, AC, and too many others to count.
Now at the San Jose airport, flight has been cancelled so I'll be here a while. Not looking forward to going home to the quiet of my own head, but this was one hell of a party to send me off into cancerland.
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WFC is amazing, calendula_witch had a lovely birthday, toastmasterly keynote coming up, so regular blogging service will resume tomorrow.
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calendula_witch is a birthday girl today
kenscholes on WFC, with an appreciation of me
Wondermark with an incredible (and funny) list of counting terms — Along the lines of "a murder of crows".
Free! Why $0.00 Is the Future of Business — Uh huh. (Thanks to willyumtx.)
?otD: Whose birthday is it today?
10/31/2009 Body movement: 50 minute urban walk Hours slept: 4.5 This morning's weigh-in: n/a Currently reading: The Jade Man's Skin by Daniel Fox
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It has belatedly occurred to me that my WFC schedule remains yet unposted. Forthwith and anon:
Thursday, October 29th5:00 pm - Opening ceremonies 8:00 pm - The Google Books Settlement Later - Aussie Party and Last Drink Bird Head Party
Friday, October 30th1:00 pm - Garth Nix Interview 8:00 pm - Mass signing Later - Locus Party
Saturday, October 31st ( calendula_witch's birthday!) Noon - Improv Storytelling 3:30 pm - Reading Later - Weird Tales Party
Sunday, November 1st1:00 pm - WFC Banquet
Plus, of course, the usual assortment of shared meals, business meetings, BarCon and tomfoolery. If you want some of my time in a formal sense, let me know and I'll see what I can fit in. Otherwise, find me in the bar or at the parties.
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What the hell can I say? Cancer sucks. I've been extraordinarily busy, and will continue to be so through the weekend, which is almost certainly a goodness. Sixteen hour workday yesterday (seriously), though scarlettina dropped by for a visit later, so I did get some friend time in. Driving back to Portland today, then hopping a plane for San Jose this afternoon, and on into the madness of World Fantasy, with calendula_witch once more.
Everyone around me is pierced, again. I see it in calendula_witch's eyes, in my parents' faces, in Mother of the Child's voice. I keep apologizing, though for what, I cannot say. I despise being the agent of this terror, bringing it into the camp of my loved ones like a gift horse on Greek-built wheels. Despite my best efforts otherwise, once again I have become a tumor.
I'm not so much with the panic this time, at least not yet. But the Fear is certainly a constant companion right now. Surgery, whatever. This will be a fraction of the trouble of last year's surgery. (Though I hope like hell cancer surgery is not an annual event in my life going forward.) Chemo scares me. The possibility of it being a second cancer scares me.
I thought I was going to write a fairly intelligent post about cancer fear, but I see that I'm just rambling. So, erm, I think I'll go back to being afraid.
And for you arts types, I think I'm going to get a tattoo that says 'CANCER SUCKS'. I'm envisioning it as being like old fashioned typewriter keys, round with letters in the middle, as if sketched in pencil with some cross shading. Anybody got any good photo or image references to art like that?
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Expect continued light blogging today and tomorrow, as I am leaving now (3:30 am Pacific) for Seattle for Day Jobbery, and then going straight from Seattle to San Jose tomorrow for WFC. More cancer thoughts as time permits, but I'm not sulking or withdrawn. Just busy.
Talk amongst yourselves.
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It's not every day you find yourself saying, "Please, god, let it be metastatic colon cancer," because that would be the best outcome.
Oncologist consult was a bit more exciting than we'd hoped. In summary (and right now, summary is about all there is), the mass on my liver has vanished. Apparently it was some kind of infection. The mass on my lung is now double the size it was on the May scans, and half again the size it was in July, and has been officially classed as a tumor, pending tissue biopsy. Thoracic surgery has been prescribed, sometime in November.
The surgery will be thoraciscopic, which means far less invasive than last year's colonic resectioning. Shorter hospital stay, much shorter recovery/rehab period. The mass is only about a centimeter in diameter, and it's very distinct, so it's an easy target. Back of my left lung, fairly low down, and the oncologist thinks the surgical plan will be pretty simple.
Next step is a pre-operative consult with the thoracic surgeon. Surgery will be scheduled sometime in November. Post-operatively a tissue biopsy will be conducted on the tumor to determine if it is metastatic colon cancer or a novel lung cancer. (Chemo planning will follow from that determination.)
Hence the remark above — lung cancer would be a far more serious diagnosis, with a much poorer prognosis. Even metastatic colon cancer is damned spooky in terms of cure rates and survivability, but lung...meh. We'll cross that bridge when we've set fire to the stream.
So, no further news likely til after WFC, as I won't see the surgeon before next week. The reader is invited to imagine my mental and emotional state, which I will explicate as is my wont, once I've sorted through it a bit more. For now, calendula_witch and I are keeping on with the keeping on.
A bit later today I'll sit down with the_child and explain things to her. Tonight we're having my immediately family over for a little while. And I'm off to Seattle before the crack of dawn tomorrow on Day Jobbe business, then off to San Jose on Wednesday for WFC. Distractions are a good thing.
More as it develops. Just try and shut me up.
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Oncology appointment this afternoon, to find out the results of last week's scans and map the course of the next few months of my life. SteamCon was a marvelous distraction, but the Fear caught up with me again last night. It's a lot less severe just now, but still real and deep. calendula_witch was marvelous, as is her wont.
Today I find out which doors open and which doors shut. Tomorrow I go (back) to Seattle for Day Jobbery. Wednesday I go to San Jose for World Fantasy. No matter what happens, I shall be busy. This must be a goodness.
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SteamCon day 2 was great good fun. calendula_witch dressed up in corset and jodhpurs. We hit the dealer's room, then staked the good table in the bar all day and all night. bravado111 showed up pretty early and anchored the table as the rest of us floated in and out. shelly_rae and Mark Ferrari showed up right after lunch, and we saw loads of other people, including corwynofamber, markbourne (who was ambulatory and verbal as hell!!!), e_bourne, nayad, Jak Koke, and Tammy Vining. Today we're taking it easy, having a brunch with scarlettina, then hitting the road for Portland, with a quick stop to visit with ginastonge.
Yesterday I shared a reading with catrambo, at which we each read parts of longer works. In her case, "Narrative of the Life of a Beast", and in my case, "The Baby Killers". Hers is available in the current issue of Realms of Fantasy, mine will be out next year from PS Publishing as a single-title novella. I can best describe the style as "high bugfuck steampunk." I think I went a little over the top in the reading.
Also a panel on "Steampunk Literature 101" with blackaire, 2muchexposition and johnnyeponymous. The room was packed, perhaps 70 people in a space with seating for about 40. The panel was a lot of fun, and I think the audience enjoyed it.
Still, as calendula_witch said, "How could anything be more interesting than sitting and watching all of the costumes. Nothing could be more fantastic."
( Some photos... )
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SteamCon has been fun, albeit low key. calendula_witch and I arrived earlier than expected, with a deeply surprising lack of traffic fail given the awful weather and the usual Friday afternoon crowded highway between Portland and Seattle. Ran into Tim and Serena Powers in the parking lot, who were gracious enough to help us with our bags. Ran into Duane Wilkinson just inside, all of which eventually devolved (through some mechanism mysterious to me) in us being invited to dinner by Megan Lindholm later that evening, in company with Tim, Serena, Duane and some of Megan's family.
After that, it was pretty much barcon, with fly bys from cmdrsuzdal, johnnyeponymous, marykaykare, cmpriest, blackaire, tamiam and, erm, lots of other people.
(Please note, it can be hard to see people in the bar. The chairs have high backs and don't face the lobby for the most part, so if you're looking for us, and you think we're there, it's worth stepping in and actually looking around.)
Early to bed, not so early to rise, some quiet couple time and a long walk, and now we're almost ready for our day. I'll be reading at 2 pm in a joint hour with catrambo, and holding forth on steampunk literature at 4 pm.
See some, all or none of you around here today.
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Cancer scans are done with. Oncologist appointment is Monday afternoon. You may assume dread and fear, but its quiescent at the moment, and hopefully will remain so through the weekend as calendula_witch and I are going to distract ourselves with SteamCon starting this afternoon. I shall be eschewing further banana-related disasters.
See some, all or none of you there.
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