Lakeshore

When idly scratching one's belly during sleep, it is best not to get a fingernail snagged in a surgical staple.

That will wake one up, even through the drug fog.

Imagine a few dozen nails dragged across a blackboard at once. There ought to be a word for that sensation.

Any suggestions?

This morning, six days after being admitted to my hospital room, I happened to be in the bathroom and looking at ( the nurse's call there. )

Somehow I read "PULL FOR HELP" as "PULL FOR HEEP", and was promptly very impressed that OHSU had an emergency supply of Uriah Heep.

As my dad pointed out, this train of thought was not the least bit out of the ordinary for me.

Story of my life, lately.

:: laughs ruefully ::

The cancer funnies poll is now closed. daveraines is the winner, with:

"Thank goodness it was shaped like macaroni, instead of spaghetti or, God forbid, lasagna."

daveraines wins a signed copy of the Mainspring [ Powell's | Amazon thb | Audible ] mass market paperback with a bonus drawing of the tumor.

Thanks to everyone who played. Be sure to check out the entries if you missed them before.

Tomorrow I go on clears, and Fleet. Very early Friday morning I'm off for the surgery. My world is already narrowing considerably, so expect limited word from me tomorrow. lasirenadolce will update on this blog starting during or after the operation Friday.

csinman's LOLCatScan of me in the hospital — With bonus hilarity in comments.

Don't forget to vote in the cancer funnies poll — I'll be closing this out tonight or tomorrow, because we've got another contest coming up.

Nightmares in copy editing

Mopery with intent to creep — Hahahaha.

The odds against interstellar panspermia — This is freaking fascinating.

Advertising in the clouds — Mmm. Just what we needed. (Thanks to tetar.)

Nuclear threat sparked tea worry — "The threat of a nuclear attack on the UK in the 1950s caused concern over the supply of tea, top-secret documents which have now been released reveal." Nice to see someone had their priorities right during the Cold War. (Thanks to danjite.)

Chinese companies outsourcing to the US because of lower costs — Wow. Bush really is taking us back to Third World status.

5/5/08
Time in saddle: 0 minutes (away from home, some light walking instead)
Last night's weigh-out: n/a
This morning's weigh-in: n/a
Currently reading: The Alchemy of Stone by Ekaterina Sedia [ Amazon ]

'Cause I'm me...

( Weird cars at the Oregon coast )

Remember: life is never too crazy to stop and look at a weird automobile.

lasirenadolce is doing a production book for the upcoming surgical festivities. This includes preliminary activities such as rearranging Nuevo Rancho Lake for a convalescence, pre-op prep, day-of-operation activities, post-op activities and so on. This will help keep me on target as things get potentially confusing and stressful, and help my family and friends manage both me and themselves. Dating a professional event/television producer definitely has its advantages.

We were discussing some of the task dependencies and sequences today when the topic of shaving my arms came up. This in response to the mild unpleasantness of having surgical tape removed on the last go-round — given that I'm a hard stick, and one gets stuck a lot in the hospital, I had numerous tape sites in addition to the IVs in each arm.

This reminded me of an event in my childhood when I applied the scientific method to my own emerging sexuality. I was at a young age terribly self-conscious about my lack of body hair. I suppose in the 1970s that body hair meant masculinity. At least that was my understanding when I was twelve. I'd also heard that once you started shaving (your beard) that the hair would grow in thicker. So one day in the bath tub I very carefully shaved one half of my newly sprouted pubic hair to see if it would grow in thicker than the other half, which remained unmolested.

I was enough of a geek to have a control group (if I'd shaved the whole business, there would have been no way to judge the improvement), but not enough of a geek to keep lab notes, sadly. I can report that results were inconclusive, though I do in fact recall which half I did shave, so further study may be indicated as a long-term follow up to the experimental protocol.

All of which leads to the question of whether I should shave my arms entirely from wrist to the short-sleeve line, or just the likely stick patches. Experience suggests that shaving in patches won't create any long term differentiation, but three decades on I'm a lot more secure in my masculinity.

Cancer: your guide to a trip down memory lane.

What could possibly go wrong? — tdj is funny about some new Japanese tech. (Thanks to willyumtx.)

Freaky funny book follies — The Bellingham gang are at it again with the Mainspring [ Powell's | Amazon thb | Audible ] photos. First the zepplin thing, now this. I have laughed so hard.

And yet another genius photocomment from up north — csinman did this one. :: wipes tears of laughter from eyes ::

Ducks make strawberries red — The idiocy of Intelligent Design. See also the dragon in my garage. And if there's an Intelligent Designer, i want a god damned refund on account of this cancer thing. The Problem of Evil has taken up residence in my colon. (Thanks to lt260.)

5/4/08
Time in saddle: 0 minutes (sore insides, no vigorous exercise)
Last night's weigh-out: n/a
This morning's weigh-in: 268.8
Currently reading: The Alchemy of Stone by Ekaterina Sedia [ Amazon ]

Carefully reading over the various diagnostic reports, I find this remark:

"The sigmoid is noted to be rather redundant and lengthy."

If I'm not mistaken, this is medical jargon for "long-winded asshole."

:: goes to bed laughing ::

jaylake:	So, I want you to know I have cancer.
the_child:	Cancer!
jaylake:	Well, yes. I'm not going to die or anything, but I might be sick for a while.
the_child:	Cancer?
jaylake:	Do you have any questions I can answer?
the_child:	[horrified] Are you going to lose all your hair?

One of the best parts about the last couple of days is the flood of comments, emails, IMs and phone calls. Not that I didn't already know y'all love me or anything, but that has helped my spirits immensely. However, some folks distinguished themselves in cracking me up. Which on this blog calls for a contest!

Herewith is a harvest of some comment highlights. Usual rules apply, vote for the one you like best. I'll be sending off a mass market paperback of Mainspring [ Powell's | Amazon thb | Audible ] to the poll winner, personalized with a drawing of my tumor. (Yes, I saw it in the jar before they sent the miserable thing off to the pathology lab.)

Poll #1181370 Die laughing or live sober!
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

What's your favorite comment on my cancer diagnosis?

If I'm going to die soon, it will be of laughter. kehrli, criada and kaerfel show me what Mainspring is really all about.

I laughed so hard it upset lasirenadolce's dog Spike. Laughed my ass off, so to speak.

Then csinman met them on the field of honor.

Those guys are so totally for the win.

Congratulations to this year's Nebula winners!

Matt Staggs with a nice review of Mainspring [ Powell's | Amazon thb | Audible ] — Which will be released this week in a handy mass market paperback edition [ Amazon mmpb ], I am pleased to say,

Roly poly fish heads at Nuevo Rancho Lake

The Galactic Center Radio Arc — More APOD awesomeness.

McCain uses wife's jet — The Straight Talk Express flies again. Wait, I thought he was flying coach? And just for the record, I'm perfectly clear on how high net worth individuals of both major parties self-fund and self-support their campaigns. The point here is the irony of McCain's continuing free pass from the press on the mismatch between his words and his deeds. Or even his words and reality in general, as evidenced by his repeated major misstatements on Iran. Strongly reminiscent of Bush's treatment during the 2000 election. (Snurched from around the liberal blogosphere.)

Florida conservatives, on gay marriage: "This is a tremendous social crisis, greater even than the issue of slavery." — I'd usually say it's so cute what conservatives believe, but that isn't remotely cute. It's psychotic.

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4/27/08
Time in saddle: 0 minutes (rest day)
Last night's weigh-out: n/a
This morning's weigh-in: n/a
Currently reading: (between books)