Recently I was speaking to the_child about something, and she told me I was very weird. I said I wasn't that weird. the_child gave me a fishy stare, and said, "Daddy, you throw toast at the audience."

So much for the dignity of my parental office.

Meanwhile, Mother of the Child reports overhearing the_child on the phone with a friend from her third grade class last night. MoC reports the_child was interpreting a dream for her friend, projecting confidence and authority.

My daughter is interpreting dreams?