Jay, don't you know that TIME is just a propaganda front for the VAST LIBERAL CONSPIRACY?

That's right, Jay. We're all working TOGETHER! The Democratic Party. Wiccans. The NAACP. The ACLU. The CIA. The FBI. Anything with acronyms. Scientists. Abortionists. The Masons. The Media. Muslims. Mormons. Pretty much everthing beginning with the letter "M". We're ALL IN ON IT!

And we're all trying to destroy good, white, right-thinking Christians everywhere. Because, you know, we hate all that is, like, good and holy. Like God. And babies. And everybody who isn't American, especially immigrants.

Dood, I thought you were on board! Didn't you get the memo? I could have SWORN you were on the mailing list!

(*NOTE* My wife is forcing me to add that the above is actually pure SARCASM, intended for humorous effect, so please don't send me hate mail. Thank you.)

Oh yes, Brother Hugh. As for me, like all secularized Western liberals, I work diligently for the day when we shall all bow to Shariate Law.

Hah! Isn't it great how we've fooled people into believing in Secularism or Shariate Law, when really it all leads to... SATAN!!!!!

MWAA-HA-HAAAAAA!

(Hmmm... Secular, Sharia, Satan, Sarcasm... obviously there's a connection between words that begin the letter "S" as well!)

(Okay, sarcasm mode off... the most frightening thing is, I've actually met people who THINK this way. And some of them are in rather responsible positions in society. And I'm at a loss as to how to deal with that. How can you change someone's mind if they can't doubt?)

Well of course! After all, we secularists are all Anti-Christian. Anyone who bows to Shariate Law is Anti-Christian. Therefore, all secularists want to bow to Shariate Law.

(Can you pick out the logical flaws in the above? If so, you're more rational than far too many people.)

That sound you hear are the rats deserting the sinking ship.....

We rats prefer the term "patriotic expatriate".

Tomayto, tomahto.....

;)

If you want to find out who's REALLY behind The Conspiracies, google on "lizards" and "Hollow Earth."