Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[writing] Worst first lines

I think the worst first line I ever wrote was for an unpublished story called "Spooge" "Fat Man's Ransom" ("Spooge" was another story about the same character), about Morty Ballou, the fattest man in space.

"Sic Transit, Gloria Mundi speaking. How may I help you?"

Ok, it's two lines, but you get the idea. What's your worst first line, either as a writer or as a reader? (If these are good, we may go for another contest, this time for a first edition of the Mainspring release.)
Tags: funny, writing
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