Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[photos|tech] Japanese Plumbing, an adventurer's perspective

As most of you probably know, my inner fourth-grader is never far from the surface of my personality. The toilets at Intercontinental the Grand Yokohama were like a shiny lure to a hungry bass on a summer's day.

lasirenadolce tried it first, following the intended use, and reported it a worthwhile experience. When I attempted to pilot the toilet, the "Back" button (see pictures below) resulted in a low grinding noise, followed by an enthusiastic cleansing of my fundament that could charitable be described as one small step shy of purgative. This with the pressure setting on low.

The "Front" button was helpfully colored pink, presumably to discourage male users from experimentation. Never being one to stand aside from the progress of human development, I tried that as well.

There is no need for you to follow in my footsteps. Trust me on this. Let's just say that the recent Dr Pepper incident might have ended more joyfully if the Target in Federal Way, WA had been equipped with Japanese toilets.

Having experienced the joy of mysterious high pressure jets of water being directed invisibly from beneath my body, I enlisted lasirenadolce in adducing this engineering miracle. As the toilet seat has a pressure sensor, presumably to prevent premature or inappropriate deployment, I was forced to press down with my foot. The grinding nose turned out to be the deployment of a device which can only be described as a toothbrush for one's ass. (Or possibly an anal probe.) When the water jet began to hose upward, the flaw in our plan became apparent as a brief moment of toilet water-soaked panic ensued.

Here at this blog, we travel to distant parts and experiment with exotic personal grooming implements so you don't have to!

The magical mystery tour of Japanese plumbing.

Toilet warning label
The warning label on the underside of the lid.

Toilet probe
The probe being deployed, this time by lasirenadolce.

Toilet command center
The toilet's command center. Note the tasteful icons for posterior or anterior deployment of water flow. There's some good LJ icon material here.

As usual, more at the Flickr set
Tags: funny, nippon, photos, tech, weird

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