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Lakeshore
An author of no particular popularity

Jay Lake
Date: 2007-09-03 15:58
Subject: [photos|tech] Japanese Plumbing, an adventurer's perspective
Security: Public
Tags:funny, nippon, photos, tech, weird
As most of you probably know, my inner fourth-grader is never far from the surface of my personality. The toilets at Intercontinental the Grand Yokohama were like a shiny lure to a hungry bass on a summer's day.

lasirenadolce tried it first, following the intended use, and reported it a worthwhile experience. When I attempted to pilot the toilet, the "Back" button (see pictures below) resulted in a low grinding noise, followed by an enthusiastic cleansing of my fundament that could charitable be described as one small step shy of purgative. This with the pressure setting on low.

The "Front" button was helpfully colored pink, presumably to discourage male users from experimentation. Never being one to stand aside from the progress of human development, I tried that as well.

There is no need for you to follow in my footsteps. Trust me on this. Let's just say that the recent Dr Pepper incident might have ended more joyfully if the Target in Federal Way, WA had been equipped with Japanese toilets.

Having experienced the joy of mysterious high pressure jets of water being directed invisibly from beneath my body, I enlisted lasirenadolce in adducing this engineering miracle. As the toilet seat has a pressure sensor, presumably to prevent premature or inappropriate deployment, I was forced to press down with my foot. The grinding nose turned out to be the deployment of a device which can only be described as a toothbrush for one's ass. (Or possibly an anal probe.) When the water jet began to hose upward, the flaw in our plan became apparent as a brief moment of toilet water-soaked panic ensued.

Here at this blog, we travel to distant parts and experiment with exotic personal grooming implements so you don't have to!

The magical mystery tour of Japanese plumbing.

Toilet warning label
The warning label on the underside of the lid.

Toilet probe
The probe being deployed, this time by lasirenadolce.

Toilet command center
The toilet's command center. Note the tasteful icons for posterior or anterior deployment of water flow. There's some good LJ icon material here.

As usual, more at the Flickr set
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dragonkal: camel llama from Sorcha
User: dragonkal
Date: 2007-09-03 23:38 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:camel llama from Sorcha
Thank you for this guided tour of your misfortunes -- I nearly died laughing. My ex-boyfriend had a bidet in his apartment and enthusiastically encouraged me to try it out, and while my experience was not quite as disastrous as yours, it was definitely the sort of thing not to be forgotten. And perhaps never to be repeated.
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User: ex_frankwu
Date: 2007-09-04 00:28 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hold For Pulsing? That'd be a good name for a band.
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la sirena dolce: take 2
User: lasirenadolce
Date: 2007-09-04 01:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:take 2
Wow, somehow I missed out on that function.
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Gary Emenitove
User: garyomaha
Date: 2007-09-04 01:30 (UTC)
Subject: The tush will set you free
Hold on while I ask M. if we can travel to Japan anytime soon.
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Jay Lake: jay-Adrienne
User: jaylake
Date: 2007-09-04 03:05 (UTC)
Subject: Re: The tush will set you free
Keyword:jay-Adrienne
Without naming names, I will say that this magical toilet was very popular with certain people staying in my room.

Other than myself, I mean.
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(no subject) - (Anonymous)
Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2007-09-04 04:04 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
http://flickr.com/photos/jaylake/sets/72157601851436811/
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Chris McKitterick: Lincoln Tri-Power
User: mckitterick
Date: 2007-09-04 05:03 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Lincoln Tri-Power
I'm still laughing!

Okay, the pink one? Um, is that woman flinging up her arms in delight or terror?
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(no subject) - (Anonymous)
Chris McKitterick: whale breaching
User: mckitterick
Date: 2007-09-04 15:14 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:whale breaching
Even better!
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Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2007-09-04 13:08 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Perhaps both...?
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Renegade Vagabond: Red Dress
User: khaybee
Date: 2007-09-05 17:51 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Red Dress
I think perhaps the personality trait that caused you to eat the snack food which had just been described to you as tasting like red pepper mixed with cat shit, sawdust and a pinch of brown sugar also caused you to push the pink "front" button with the female icon.

You had to know you have balls!
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This Rebel's Mission: to learn, share, and live: Good girl
User: mauracelt
Date: 2007-09-05 21:38 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Good girl
*choking with laughter* Thanks for this, hun. I truly needed a good laugh, but this? This gets the chocolate dooie button award for funny! *fol*
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Meesto
User: meesto
Date: 2007-09-05 21:40 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
You know - in the coming "Green Years" I would not be at all surprised to see these as the answer to reducing carbon emissions.

Heated toilet seats sound nice. I want to go to Japan again. There was nothing like this when I was there in 1986.
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When life gives you lemmings...
User: danjite
Date: 2007-09-06 03:22 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hmmm... they were becoming popular when I was there in 1989...

I was thinking of importing them to Welllington!
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dinogrl: Nemo butt
User: dinogrl
Date: 2007-09-06 07:02 (UTC)
Subject: and TOTO too?
Keyword:Nemo butt
I LJ'd a similar device one month ago...because "clean is happy". You shoulda paid attention to the very informative instructional video!!!! They do cost a fortune however, but wow, they'd be worth it!

http://dinogrl.livejournal.com/183859.html



You actually got to try it out.
I'm envious.
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whafford: monks
User: whafford
Date: 2007-09-07 17:34 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:monks
Most humorous. I've always thought it would be great to do a book on 'Toilets of the World' and have continually gathered photos for it in my travels. Mind you, I get a lot of strange looks going into and coming out of the loo with my camera. I haven't yet been to Japan but have seen some built in bidets in a few toilets in Egypt and Turkey. Not nearly so high-tech as this one though!
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mlerules: Cruella
User: mlerules
Date: 2011-02-27 15:53 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Cruella
Thx for the morning LOL! (Actually, my aunt in SoCal has a unit distressingly similar to this one, sans the Japanese...and sans the probe attachment (thank all that's holey!)
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