Wow. To think I am bested by meerkats. suricattus, are you listening?

what is your preferred translation of the first line of Gilgamesh?

Bid dude, been around, let me spin your rap
I'll rock the cribs with your doings all over the map

Questions recycled from a recent meme:

1) You are marooned on a deserted record. Which three islands do you bring with you, and why?

2) The American government collapses. We the people entrust you with the responsibility of choosing our next leader, the person who will be supreme dictator of the U. S. for the next 10 years. The stipulation: it must be someone, living or dead, who has written a book that you can find in your local Barnes & Noble or public library. You cannot choose yourself. Whom do you choose, and why?

3) You are offered the chance to be the best teacher of young writers the world has ever seen. People who studied with you for six weeks would make progress that would otherwise have taken them 10 years. People who studied with you for 1 year (the maximum anyone could, without having their head explode) would go from slush rejects to the level of today's SFF grandmasters. The cost: you can never write fiction again. Do you take this gift, and why?

1) You are marooned on a deserted record. Which three islands do you bring with you, and why?

The Isles of Langerhan, the beer and wine aisle, and the Isley Brothers. That way I can eat, drink and be merry.

2) The American government collapses. We the people entrust you with the responsibility of choosing our next leader, the person who will be supreme dictator of the U. S. for the next 10 years. The stipulation: it must be someone, living or dead, who has written a book that you can find in your local Barnes & Noble or public library. You cannot choose yourself. Whom do you choose, and why?

Christopher Paolini, the future world dictator who needs no introduction. If I told you why, I'd have to kill you.

3) You are offered the chance to be the best teacher of young writers the world has ever seen. People who studied with you for six weeks would make progress that would otherwise have taken them 10 years. People who studied with you for 1 year (the maximum anyone could, without having their head explode) would go from slush rejects to the level of today's SFF grandmasters. The cost: you can never write fiction again. Do you take this gift, and why?

Nope. I love to teach, but I love to tell my own stories first. Call me a selfish bastard, but it's who I am.

Lots of SF writers read books in their field as part of their profession.

What is the last F/SF book that you read that made you think "I wish I had written *that*"?

bram452's An Autumn War.

When you picture The Child's adult life, what do you see?

Right now it's something like a cross between CSNY "Our House" and "Teach Your Children." My glib answer for the future is that she'll be a Navy SEAL. Truly I have no idea. I just want her adventure to be greater than mine.

To reprise a question I asked elsewhere, how do you turn a gimmick (like Yokohama Sid) into a story?

Oops. My apologies. I promised to answer that before.

The simple response is to say that when I begin writing, I generally don't have fully formed ideas. I've started stories with a lot less in mind that Yokohama Sid. I just jump into the prose and see where it takes me — sort of like automatic writing. The thing is, there's an enormous amount packed into even the smallest shred of an idea. "Yokohama Sid's Used Ferris Wheel Lot" begs a bunch of question. Why would a guy from Yokohama be named Sid? (Or vice versa.) What's up with a used ferris wheel? (That's so improbable.) Why would you bother to put them on a lot? Are they assembled? Where is this lot? How is it configured? Does Yokohama Sid offer financing? Is the whole thing a metaphor for something even stranger? We have character, setting and implied problem already in place. All that remains to do is start writing.

If you could only attend one convention a year and it had to be the same one year after year, which one would you pick and why?

World Fantasy. Best mix of the pros I want to see, plus it's the only place where I consistently see my agent. One of the most writer-friendly Cons around.

How does one go about making the LOL icons, as so carefully demonstrated in your latest contest? I'm so meme challenged, it's probably funny.

One uses Photoshop or some other graphics editor to drop the text in on top of the photos. :D

When will you finally break down (no, that's not the end of the question) and make momos in Omaha?

Well, we could do it this coming go-round. Would require us hooking up the day before (Weds?) to do shopping. Worth rescheduling the Beach Party?

How many short stories do you think you've completed (i.e., beginning, middle, end)?

At what point during your transition to writing a story a week did you start to see payoff (either, selling or in terms of your ability to see your writing improve)?

If, on my next sojourn to the Pacific Northwest, I had to choose between visiting the Olympic National Park or Bend/High Desert area, which should I see?

Is there a better beach than Cannon to visit in Oregon?

Thanks!

How many short stories do you think you've completed (i.e., beginning, middle, end)?

According to my spreadsheet, I have completed 380 short stories since December of 2000. Probably another 100 or so between 1990 and 2000.

At what point during your transition to writing a story a week did you start to see payoff (either, selling or in terms of your ability to see your writing improve)?

Really within the first six months. Substantial changes came within about a year.

If, on my next sojourn to the Pacific Northwest, I had to choose between visiting the Olympic National Park or Bend/High Desert area, which should I see?

That's like asking if you should visit Hawaii or New Mexico. They're *very* different, and aren't really comparable. Given a coin-toss, I'd take the Olympics, only because the terrain and biota there are more distinctive than the High Desert biome, which has a lot of commonality with other Western state areas.

Is there a better beach than Cannon to visit in Oregon?

Indian Beach, which is part of Ecola State Park just north of the town of Cannon Beach. I personally consider it Oregon's most perfect beach. It's also worth some effort to drive up to Fort Stevens near Warrenton to see the wreck of the Peter Iredale.

What does "literary" mean?

You are such a trouble maker.

Depending on the context, "literary" either means "acceptable to academic wankers who consider themselves the guardians of good taste" or "stuff which cooler than that crap you write."

What's the worst writing advice you've ever received?

Hands down it has to be the admonition to avoid the small press because it will ruin your career.

I was told this by a Very Big Name Author in a room full of people a few hours after I learned I'd been nominated for both the Hugo and the Campbell, back in 2004. I've heard it a number of times, mostly from people who confuse "small press" with "vanity publishing", or who came into the field so long ago that they have no awareness of the vitality and respectability of the current small press scene.

Before you started selling stories, did you ever feel like you were on the edge of a gap or a chasm that you knew you had to cross but didn't know how to cross it? And how did you cross it?

- yeff

I always felt like I was on the edge of a gap. Still do, in fact. Sometimes I have to look back to remember how much I've already crossed.

How did I do it? Write, send out, write more. Repeat as necessary. This really is a craft which improves with practice.

But do you ever have self-doubts about this? Do you ever look at something you've written and say, "That's really twisted, what is wrong with me that that came out of my head"?


:: laughs ::

Have you ever read Trial of Flowers or "The Goat Cutter"? Yes indeedie, I do think about that. But you know what? It's my imagination, and I like it here.

So, do you have any deep dark secrets? Or are you just as transparent and open as the day is long?

I'm as pure as driven slush and transparent as isinglass.