Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[process] Blind faith and the working writer

I've often commented that for me the validation writing comes from within. I've also often commented that while publishing is a meritocracy, it's not a just meritocracy. Despite my principles, I sometimes surrender to the green-eyed twins of jealousy and envy. Specifically, I spent most of yesterday convinced of my own mediocrity, and blew a planned four-hour writing session because I felt like the effort was pointless.

Now, I know better. I know better for writers in general, and I know better for me. Still, like everyone, stress sometimes leaves me flat. the_child was in the E.R. last week, as was another close family member. The kiddo started school, with all the stress that entails for her. I am in the post-novel phase with respect to Escapement. Yadda yadda yadda.

The trick is recognizing that I'm merely bumping the wall. That's not a hard trick for me now, but I have piles of external validation to remind me what I'm about. Pre-career or early-career, it would have been a lot different trying to see the forest for the trees.

The point of this post? To remind myself, and anyone else who's interested, that you can have vapor lock at any rung on the career ladder. One of my great gifts as both a writer and a human being is that I tend to quickly recover from hard bounces. If I had to stay in that vapor lock for days, weeks or months, I don't know how I'd cope. But I'd find a way.

Still, it catches us all. Sometimes it helps to have blind faith in one's own work.
Tags: personal, process, writing

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