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Jay Lake
Date: 2007-10-12 09:14
Subject: [contest] Amuse me, for prize(s)
Security: Public
Location:The infirmary at Nuevo Rancho Lake
Music:my breathing
Tags:contest, julius, lake wu, personal
Being under the weather, I'm also bored. Too thick-headed to write, too wrung out to leave the premises and rent a video, egg setera. So it occurs to me that I have a few copies of a very limited edition dark erotica chapbook of mine, Loving Julius, which was a pilot project of Traife Buffet Press, publishers of the mighty limited edition of Greetings From Lake Wu Traife Buffet ]. The chapbook was given out as a fundraising premium at the Center For Sex and Culture in San Francisco a year or so ago, and has never been available for sale.

Want a copy of Loving Julius? Maybe you're a Jay Lake completist. Maybe your morbid curiosity drives you to wonder precisely what it is that I consider dark erotica. Explain in comments why you should be the person to win a copy. Next week we'll have a poll for the funniest/cleverest/most creative answer. Runner-up prizes and judge's special may be awarded.
Post A Comment | 19 Comments | | Flag | Link

User: irismoonlight
Date: 2007-10-12 16:41 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Because vanilla should *own* rich, dark chocolate sauce.
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User: jetse
Date: 2007-10-12 17:12 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I should win because there are more things my fellow countrymen did to make that tulip black then are dreamt of in your philosphy, Horatio...
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Kelly Green
User: saycestsay
Date: 2007-10-12 17:13 (UTC)
Subject: Because...
...accretion disc sploog doesn't stand a chance of cross-pollinating the proto-planets if Nemesis doesn't whip things up every 26 million years or so....

(Okay, that won't make any sense unless you've read about Venerian exploration in New Scientist lately.)(Maybe not even then.)
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aries_jordan: LOLRUS
User: aries_jordan
Date: 2007-10-12 17:19 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Because I will take snippets of dialogue and tableax and create lol pictures with them. (Caveat: NOT USING REAL CATS).
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Mister Eclectic: satan claus
User: howeird
Date: 2007-10-12 17:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:satan claus
I need some dark erotica to read on light rail.
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Sean P. Fodera
User: delkytlar
Date: 2007-10-12 18:04 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Because my eBay ratings are all positive, and I'm sure I could offload it on one of the losers quickly and at significant personal profit.

Did I really post that?

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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2007-10-12 19:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Because you know I will be shocked and appalled, and you'd just love to do that!

Chris Y
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Kerry aka Trouble: OceanView
User: controuble
Date: 2007-10-12 20:12 (UTC)
Subject: Because...
what else is a pore widdle widow-woman to do besides read about it?
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sheelangig: Rock & Hard Place
User: sheelangig
Date: 2007-10-12 22:04 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Rock & Hard Place

The only answer to Why? is Because.

Just because.

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User: rarelylynne
Date: 2007-10-12 22:35 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Because as your archivist, I need a complete record of you as a writer.

Yup, it's me, from NIU, going all kamikaze librarian on ya. :-)
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Gary Emenitove
User: garyomaha
Date: 2007-10-13 01:12 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
M. and I are considering an addition to the house, so we need books to put into the walls.
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russ: polska walczy
User: goulo
Date: 2007-10-13 05:54 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:polska walczy
Because postage to Poland costs more.
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Keffy: unspuzzlings
User: kehrli
Date: 2007-10-14 08:17 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I sat in the breakroom, minding my own business, attacking my mathematical physics homework with an orange mechanical pencil. I didn't look up when she sat across from me. I am a bit of a snob. She was one of the people brought in for inventory, and spot checks had determined that the inventory service people could not count, nor could they tell black from blue.

But I am nothing if not polite, so when she asked me what I was doing, I answered, "Calculus with complex numbers."

She looked at me with a blank, cow-eyed stare. She asked, "What are you studying?"

"Physics," I said.

"What's that?" I assumed that I had heard her incorrectly, or perhaps she just hadn't heard me.

"Physics," I repeated, and then I reiterated the quip about how I study it just to write science fiction.

"Science fiction," she mouthed back. "So, you mean, fake stuff? Like it's not real? Aliens?"

"Yeah," I said, secretly horrified. "Science fiction is fake."

"So you gotta have a lot of imagination then."


A light goes on, somewhere deep in her skull. Recognition. "So you must watch a lot of those crime shows, huh?"

I have no idea what she's talking about. "Um..."

"Like, you know, like C.S.I."

"I... don't actually have television at home."

"So you don't get the imagination from C.S.I.? It's just you have imagination? Yourself?"

That was about when I realized that if I had been reading something sufficiently dark and inappropriate I might have avoided the conversation, or perhaps just frightened her off.

If I win a copy, I'll be sufficiently armed for next time.
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2007-10-14 10:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Because it would make up for the Box of Wonders, bought at Torcon, 2003, that I never seem to manage to pick up. :-)

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Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2007-10-14 16:05 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Paging frankwu!
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ferragus: Sweet
User: ferragus
Date: 2007-10-16 16:24 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I hearby donate one US $ to the "Send Chris his Box of Wonders Fund" (assuming that's similar to the Box of Wonders I got about that same time, it's gonna cost a ton to ship it to .au)

Good Luck guys!

(Sticks his dollar in the card reader and presses play)
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When life gives you lemmings...
User: danjite
Date: 2007-10-14 11:22 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Uh, 'Cos I published it and don't own one?

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User: shaolingrrl
Date: 2007-10-16 05:13 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
'Cuz I look really hot in one of those stripy uniforms--you know, the funky, kitschy ones with the pillbox hats on steroids--and if I won I'd put the uniform on and read the book and pretend it was all about loving MEEEEEEEE!

(Omigod, I can't believe I just wrote that.)
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