In my continuing tradition of living way too much of my life in public, I shall throw the question open to the readership of this blog. Here's a poll about that burning issue so characteristic of our times. If I get some good suggestions, I'll run a voting poll sometime next week, with prizes.
What should the Volvo's new plates be?
The normal, current Douglas Fir plates (trying to blend in)
Period license plates to match the car (pretending to blend in but secretly hoping to be noticed)
SMFH (meaningless to everyone but me, which will enhance my mysterious charisma)
CLOWNS (a desperate cry for help)
CRIT ME (reeks of writer)
Something else I'll suggest in comments
ETA: Oregon only permits six alphanumerics on a vanity plate, btw, so do please let that influence your suggestions.