- Sleeping on my back really sucks
- Sleeping on my back is the only option when I have an epidural, a catheter, a neckline and a wrist IV
- When I have all those lines coming out of me, I am like a hydraulic Pinocchio
- Having a colonic resectioning does not in fact make my turds shorter
- Cold restarts of the digestive system are even less fun than you think
- With oyxcodone, I can fly without a plane, with Dilaudid I am merely a portable moron
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