Not to be indelicate, but what used to be the middle of my colon is now attached to the business end of things. We're still learning to get along, my edited colon and me. Right now nature calls as often as once per hour. The problem is at least half the time, they're prank calls. I think that my colon and my rectum have not yet concluded negotiations as to a modus vivendi.
While this is deeply annoying, it is far less annoying than cancer.