Here is the Tourbillon Tuckerization poll, from the recent contest [ jlake.com | LiveJournal ]. Some entries were edited for clarity or to fit in the maximum allowed length of the LJ poll code — feel free to click back to the original contest pages to review them in all their glory. I apologize in advance for any errors in the editing process.
Which of the following contestants has presented the very best reason for them to be Tuckerized in Tourbillon?
mcurry: I should be a character in Tourbillon because then the fact that I am also a character in Green would provide endless hours of confusion as readers tried to figure out how the two worlds were connected.
etcet: Tourbillions and billions of atoms make up each gear, and tourbillions of gears themselves make up the cosmos itself. In the face of such overwhelming complexity.
selfavowedgeek: How many LJ flist members and readers of yours have a five-year-old son and three-year-old daughter who associate their own foundling knowledge of steampunk with "Jay Lake! Jay Lake!"
jeffsoesbe: I should be a character in Tourbillon because: The original form of my family name, Soulsby, is an excellent name for a dim-witted British Army Lieutenant. I've always wanted to visit Goa!
fledgist: When I left Jamaica, the last acquaintance I saw was Morris Cargill. Morris Cargill was tuckerized in The Man With The Golden Gun. If you tuckerize me you'll have a tuckerization connection with James Bond.
ericjamesstone: The character is dim-witted. And, as everybody knows, conservatives are dim-witted. I am a conservative, therefore the character should be named after me. Q.E.D.
controuble: I may not be an Army lieutenant, but it would be type-casting in all other regards as I must be slightly dim-witted to even think of commenting in this thread.
stephenstanley: "Stanley" is much more a dim-witted English name than "Soulsby." It is THE dim-witted English name, either surname or Christian, especially for an army lieutenant. He'd also think Goa was part of Hong Kong...
gigica: ...because on more than one occasion I have worn my shirt backwards or inside out. To work. 'Nuff said.
chibicharibdys: You should name the lieutenant after me, because my last name is so long that it alone will take up at least half a line of text; imagine the anguish of people forced to repeat it in a conversation.
wbledbetter: If this dim-witted Army lieutenant dies a horrible, gruesome death in say...oh a fiery explosion or gets eaten by sharks, then all those people who would like to see me come to some terrible end would buy your book.
thefaeway: Because not only do I share a first name with one of England's greatest soccer player, but I also have absolutely no English blood in me whatsoever.
sheelangig: I offer bribes of home baked shortbread.
musingaloud: Wallace is a *GREAT-FANTABULOUS* name for a dim-wit Brit. And I *thought* I may have had cancer when you had your macaroni fandangle, so therefore, you could Tuckerize yourself in a convoluted way.
goulo: My name Russell Swayne Williams could sound sort of fancy and British. Plus I've visited India (although we bypassed Goa). And if you find a publisher who'd pay for it, I'd translate the novel into Esperanto.
kproche: Because you know just how *good* I'd look in that uniform. Plus, I make really good Giant Toast.
tillyjane: Me, because you know whose hole your toad is hiding in...
skidspoppe: As a university teacher... one who will be teaching a course in the history of science fiction, a mention in the book will ensure you get talked about with regularity amongst the past masters :)
Justin: Because of my history of slightly dim-witted decisions in Goa, which led to my friend contracting Dengue Fever and to the both of us passing up a chance to head deep into the jungle to find a mystic who would "teach us the ways of the elephants."
Jeri: I’d be happy to serve as your your dim-witted decision maker in Goa. It’s a cheap way to travel vicariously.
C.S. Inman: Because I just tuckerized you last month. I won’t give you all the details (don’t want to spoil anything!), but you scream a lot and you go to jail.