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[cancer] Flashbacks - Lakeshore
An author of no particular popularity

Jay Lake
Date: 2009-02-06 17:40
Subject: [cancer] Flashbacks
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, personal
Sitting in my stylist's chair this afternoon. He's quitting smoking right now, and he's being kind of bitchy. He also had some serious gas, and kept going out the back of the salon. We were passing fart jokes, when I made a comment about the experience of having colon surgery. It suddenly hit me that part of my body was missing, gone. Just a deep emotional wallop.

So weird, in a moment of grade-school levity, nine months after the fact, I start missing a diseased ten inches of my digestive tract.

Sigh.

Originally published at jlake.com.

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wldhrsjen3
User: wldhrsjen3
Date: 2009-02-07 02:30 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I had a total hysterectomy five years ago, at the age of 26. I know what you mean about the sense of loss - it is profoundly weird, to me, to think that part of me is gone now. I'm like a book missing pages.
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Gary Emenitove
User: garyomaha
Date: 2009-02-07 02:49 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
>>It suddenly hit me that part of my body was missing, gone.<<

With much less emotional wallup, I 'spose that could also relate to circumcision for some of us...
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Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2009-02-07 04:54 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I been snipped, never missed that bit. Of course, I only had it a few hours, back before the dawn of memory or body consciousness.
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Gary Emenitove
User: garyomaha
Date: 2009-02-07 14:11 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Somehow, I don't imagine your parents cried out "Mazel tov!" at the time. Some of us have all the fun.
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calendula_witch: Patchwork
User: calendula_witch
Date: 2009-02-07 04:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Patchwork
Wow. I don't miss my uterus *at all*. Maybe if you'd had as much trouble, long-term, with that ten-inch bit (instead of the very brief and very life-threatening drama that you did have), as I did with my mottled asteroid over a decade and a half, you'd feel differently.

Or maybe not. Who knows? Emotions are funny things.
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Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2009-02-07 04:48 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
It was weird and rough and wildly unexpected, yes. And also very transient.
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