Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[cancer] Early morning thoughts

Took a long walk this morning, 70 minutes. The owl that lives along the eastern end of the Big Papio Trail had a lot to say, while the moon hid all but the barest hint of her face behind a high lace of clouds.

I don't tend to do directed thinking while I'm exercising. It's more like moving meditation. Some stuff bubbling about Endurance, obviously. More cancer. Fear and worry not from the deep layers — not The Fear, in other words — but of the more intellectual kind. How much will this hurt? How will it affect my job? What about the people who love me?

No answers, course. Those will come as needed, in their time. I roll around in the tough stuff, so that when the hammer comes down, I'm ready for it. No point in wishing it away.

Originally published at jlake.com.

Tags: cancer, endurance, personal
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