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Jay Lake
Date: 2009-06-16 03:11
Subject: [cancer] Early morning thoughts
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, endurance, personal
Took a long walk this morning, 70 minutes. The owl that lives along the eastern end of the Big Papio Trail had a lot to say, while the moon hid all but the barest hint of her face behind a high lace of clouds.

I don't tend to do directed thinking while I'm exercising. It's more like moving meditation. Some stuff bubbling about Endurance, obviously. More cancer. Fear and worry not from the deep layers — not The Fear, in other words — but of the more intellectual kind. How much will this hurt? How will it affect my job? What about the people who love me?

No answers, course. Those will come as needed, in their time. I roll around in the tough stuff, so that when the hammer comes down, I'm ready for it. No point in wishing it away.

Originally published at jlake.com.

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User: chessdev
Date: 2009-06-16 14:19 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I'm hoping that whatever it does take in the short run -- that you beat this thing.

I don't comment a lot on your journal but you're smart...you're funny...
and you have people who love you -- some things many people in life will never have no matter how old they reach.

Hang in there man and good luck...
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User: yourbob
Date: 2009-06-16 16:15 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Okay. Don't flipping worry too much about the way it affects those who love you (with one very obvious, I hope, exception). We're adults and we can take it.

This is not meant as license to become selfish (all the time), but when you need to be - be selfish.

You've got the spotlight and that's okay. Focus those energies on getting yourself fixed.
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User: lotusice
Date: 2009-06-17 00:19 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
A few friends sent me over.

Love and well wishes.
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