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[personal|writing] Failing to endure - Lakeshore — LiveJournal
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Jay Lake
Date: 2009-06-23 15:44
Subject: [personal|writing] Failing to endure
Security: Public
Tags:calendula, endurance, health, personal, travel, writing
It's been a pretty rough day here. Woke up hard with nausea and light-headedness. Went to the gym anyway, since I'm stubborn. Barely made it through my workout. Came back feeling bloated, realized I was having a repeat of the issue that put me in the ER in early May. Essentially, galloping constipation of possibly viral origin. (There was some bad chicken involved the night before, I'm almost sure of it.)

This time I knew what to do. I clocked out of work on sick time, took some weapons-grade laxatives, and have spent the day dozing and reading, with a few hours of critical meetings around the middle of the day. Things have cleared out, so to speak, but I'm weak and tired and my head hurts a lot. That's as much lack of nutrition as anything, though I'm back on a limited amount of food now.

I have made a command decision, reality checked by calendula_witch, to listen to my body and not try to write today. It feels very weird to stay off the keyboard. Even giving myself permission not to work on the book is hard. Taking that permission is almost excruciating.

But she's flying in here tomorrow evening, and we're off to Iron Springs on Thursday morning, and the last thing I want to be is so worn out I can't be here for her, or handle the trip to the coast and my duties at the workshop.

So, I am quieting down, laying low, and not working on my book.

Damn it.


Originally published at jlake.com.

Post A Comment | 24 Comments | | Link






lotusice
User: lotusice
Date: 2009-06-23 23:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Taking care of yourself is excellent, however difficult. Feel better.

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lotusice
User: lotusice
Date: 2009-06-23 23:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Oh, and I would hardly call that failure to endure, but rather strategic retreat.
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fledgist
User: fledgist
Date: 2009-06-24 00:08 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I second both of those statements.
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calendula_witch: Paris Catacombs
User: calendula_witch
Date: 2009-06-23 23:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Paris Catacombs
Good on you for taking care of yourself. It is not a failure to endure!!! Remember how we discussed how it's okay to not write 7 days a week? Really, it is.
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lotusice
User: lotusice
Date: 2009-06-23 23:48 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Lulz. Jinx.
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calendula_witch: shoes
User: calendula_witch
Date: 2009-06-23 23:50 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:shoes
::snerk::
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User: jess_ka
Date: 2009-06-23 23:55 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:lantern
Wah; sorry for the rough day, Jay. Rough day in the midst of rough in general, the challenge of which you continue to rise admirably to. Hugs and kudos.
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scarlettina
User: scarlettina
Date: 2009-06-24 00:01 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
You're enduring by listening to your body. It is okay to take a day off.

And please be sure you're staying hydrated, okay? I'd bet money that headache is from dehydration.

Signed,
Your Jewish Mother
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sonyamshannon
User: sonyamsipes
Date: 2009-06-24 00:08 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
sorry to hear you're feeling crummy... but I agree, you must listen to what your body's telling you! rest & recupe!
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fledgist
User: fledgist
Date: 2009-06-24 00:09 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
BTW, what brand are the weapons-grade laxatives? Just in case I ever need the things.
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Jay Lake: sanguine-tractor
User: jaylake
Date: 2009-06-24 00:32 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:sanguine-tractor
Ducolax, a/k/a Visicol.
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The NewroticGirl
User: newroticgirl
Date: 2009-06-24 00:14 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I think, Mr. Crapping Huge Piles of Words Out Daily, that you're allowed a day off for other types of crapping. :D Aren't I classy? :D
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calendula_witch: Lizard
User: calendula_witch
Date: 2009-06-24 05:54 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Lizard
Hahahhahha! Ugh. :-)
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Crystal erm Daisuki-chan
User: love_of_anime
Date: 2009-06-24 00:18 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
*Hugs/Prayers* You are amazing! Here's to hoping you feel better soon, and can get back to writing... :)
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Brent Kellmer
User: skaldic
Date: 2009-06-24 00:21 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I'm just echoing the masses, but sometimes you need to take a break, even from things you want to do, because that gives your body some downtime. Take care of yourself.
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melissajm
User: melissajm
Date: 2009-06-24 01:12 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Resting now just means you're planning for the long run. I hope you feel better soon.
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karenjunker
User: karenjunker
Date: 2009-06-24 01:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Take care of yourself, first and foremost. If you can't make it to Iron Springs, we'll do it without you. But we'd miss you! :)
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calendula_witch: Eagle
User: calendula_witch
Date: 2009-06-24 05:54 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Eagle
Oh we will be there!! I insist. :-) See you soon!
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Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2009-06-24 13:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
What she said!
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thecrimsony
User: thecrimsony
Date: 2009-06-24 04:10 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
My wife was recently given a list of "small changes" she needs to make for her health. Number 3 was "You can't do everything."

Now, I just give her the gentle reminder of "Remember number 3" when she starts to go nuts.
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Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2009-06-24 13:48 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I'm not good at number 3. Which is one reason the idea of chemo is bugging me so much. Chemotherapy is made of number 3.
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thecrimsony
User: thecrimsony
Date: 2009-06-24 15:21 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
She is SO not good at number 3. In prep for Iron Springs this weekend, she took today off of work so she wouldn't have to work all day, then go home and get the house polished (so the cat sitter, who's sure to go snooping, doesn't think less of us) AND pack up her, me, the two kids, the dog, and whatever she's bringing to help Karen out with food.

Her physical therapists nearly fainted with joy when she told them about this choice.
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fjm
User: fjm
Date: 2009-06-24 06:49 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Be well, be calm, be in the light.
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kara_gnome
User: kara_gnome
Date: 2009-06-24 13:49 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hopefully today you're feeling better :)
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