Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[cancer] A wee bit of updatery anent my mental state

Still reeling from yesterday's walkback on the chemo. It wasn't a shock, we'd had essentially the same answer in San Francisco last week, but I had deliberately been avoiding any pretense of hope, for fear of being beat down. calendula_witch, and all my other friends and family, are quite, quite pleased. I'm coming around. As I said to her last night, I feel like I've laid down an enormous weight. As she said to me, even if you wind up picking it up again, you've laid it down for now, and for a while.

I'm not free. Far from it. A lot of stuff going on which is still pretty serious by normal lights. It's just that the de-escalation is so huge. Still processing.

Originally published at jlake.com.

Tags: calendula, cancer, family
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