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Jay Lake
Date: 2009-08-03 18:55
Subject: [contests] Fictional character pickup lines
Security: Public
Tags:contests, funny, writing
On Twitter today, I said:
Pondering fictional character pickup lines. John Carter of Mars: "My radium rifle will really make you glow, baby." Others?

A few answers have filtered in:

@Animakitty: Decompression alarms are going off in my head baby, 'cuz you just took my breath away.

@etcet "I find your lack of faith... arousing."

@Rblay I think my robot likes your laptop

@rndrum "Materialize around here often?"

And via Facebook, Jonathan Vos Post: "Sample Caltech pickup line from the all-male era, usually unsuccessful: 'Would you rather be infra-read or ultra-violated?'"

I think we have the makings of a contest. With, like prizes and stuff. So here it is, the fictional character pickup-line contest. You know what to do, now go to it in comments.

Originally published at jlake.com.

Post A Comment | 16 Comments | | Flag | Link

Josh English
User: joshenglish
Date: 2009-08-04 04:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my heart. Care to dine?

Me fifth element - supreme being. Me date you.

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User: quixhobbit
Date: 2009-08-04 04:07 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
"What's a nice girl like you doing in a spaceport like this?"
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User: madrobins
Date: 2009-08-04 06:49 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I gotcher water-of-life right here, baby...
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scarlettina: Science Geek
User: scarlettina
Date: 2009-08-04 07:07 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Science Geek
Just call me Saturn, baby, because you run rings right around my heart.
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User: manmela
Date: 2009-08-04 08:40 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hasta la date, baby?
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User: bridget_coila
Date: 2009-08-04 08:48 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)

Yoda: Please you I can, yes. Strong am I with the force.

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User: bondo_ba
Date: 2009-08-04 14:28 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Sauron probably has a pair of ice breaker lines:

- I've had my eye on you for quite a while.

- Please take my ring; all your dreams will come true.
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Visiting Associate Professor Pro Tem of Rock
User: kessel
Date: 2009-08-04 16:18 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
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User: etcet
Date: 2009-08-04 14:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
"I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that. But let me tell you what I can do."

"Earl Grey Tea isn't the only thing I like hot."

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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2009-08-04 14:59 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Paul Atredies - I control the universe baby, wanna control my spice?

Severin - Sure I remember you from the bar, my memory is perfect.... now what did we do last night?
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User: slweippert
Date: 2009-08-04 17:33 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
"Why yes, I do ride a bronze dragon. Want me to take you for a ride?"
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User: biomekanic
Date: 2009-08-04 18:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
"You know, Long isn't just a last name."

"Baby, how would you like to see the 10th Doctor, because I want to die in your arms tonight."

Edited at 2009-08-04 06:03 pm (UTC)
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User: etcet
Date: 2009-08-04 18:37 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I am going to pre-emptively declare my own victory, in a show of utter ego, because this is just too entertaining not to share:

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User: wheelwithin
Date: 2009-08-05 14:09 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Some from Jurassic Park characters:

You must be a paradigm, because when you shift, you fractal my world.

You must know my trapdoor, because when you activate my white rabbit, all my security goes down.

Do I look like a velociraptor? Because I just want to eat you up.
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User: etcet
Date: 2009-08-05 14:18 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
"The sky was the color of a television tuned to a porn channel."

"I've seen things you wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. And I can make you feel things you wouldn't believe."
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User: shaolingrrl
Date: 2009-08-09 20:46 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
We must be entangled, baby, because I could feel you move before you walked in the room.

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