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Jay Lake
Date: 2009-09-04 04:38
Subject: [funny] What's on your t-shirt?
Security: Public
Tags:cool, funny
Yesterday afternoon, I said on my Twitter and Facebook feeds:
We should all have snappy labels on our shirts - "Doesn't play well with others", "Requires external validation", etc. What's yours?

The responses have been hilarious. As of about 5:40 am Pacific Friday...

From Twitter:

Junglemonkey: "Not stuck up, just introverted."
MKKare: "Do I look like a fucking people person?"
NewroticGirl: "Requires external validation."
aynjelfyre: "Cap may forcefully eject."
gewhiz: "Poor impulse control."
jenniferbrozek: "Just wants to be loved, adored and obeyed."
josephhaines: "Feed. Make fat. If his mouth is full, he can't rant."
lizargall: "Dangerous when bored."
lizargall: "Likes to nap in sunshine."
nethspace: "Has already forgotten your name."
tinytall: "Requires time signals."

From Facebook:

Laura Anne Gilman: "Assume nothing."
Jo Ellen Mauer: "The wheel is spinning but the hamster's missing."
Lillian Csernica: "Parental discretion advised."
Dawn Taylor: "I am on fire and have dangerous cargo: keep well clear of me." (with appropriate marine signal flags)
Daniel Lei: "Requires Some Assembly."
Astrid Bear: "Eats cookie dough."
Katherine Sanger: "I Run With Scissors."
Jimmy Simpson: "I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?"
Karen Meschke: "Questions authority."
Stina Leich: "I make up stuff."
Jayme Lynn Blaschke: "Open other end."
Luke McGuff: "Do not play on or around."
Chris Beckett: "You say tomato, I say f*** you."
Jim Crider: "I reject your reality and substitute my own."
Selina Phanara: "Runs with scissors."
Steve Schend: "I write lies for a living. No, I'm not a political speech writer."
Jude-Marie Green: "Surf Naked."
Tina Jens: "Flaming Liberal & Damn Proud of it!"
John Burridge: "Quomodo te amare possum nisi facere vis quae praecepi?" [How can I love you if you won't do what I say?]
John Burridge: "But enough about me; what do _you_ think of my shirt?"
Karen Grant: "Quando omni flunkus moritati." [When in doubt, play dead.]
Joseph Paul Haines: "Feed. Make fat. If his mouth is full, he can't rant."
Elissa Malcohn: "I have multiple personalities and none of them likes you."
Bob Kruger: "Maybe if this shirt is clever enough, someone will finally love me."
Rochelle Inselman Smith: "Poor impulse control."
Anthony D'Atri: "Another dissatisfied customer."
Jonathan Vos Post: "In the future, ALL human knowledge will be stored on a single nanotechnology t-shirt!"
Sara A Mueller: "Eternity is a terrible thought... I mean, where's it all going to end?"
Matthew S. Rotundo: "Karaoke slut."
Glenn Glazer: "Danger! Land Mines!"
Bridget Coila: "This is me"
Michael Bloss: "Make sure you actually have my attention before talking to me."
Lori Ann White: "Selectively Mature."

Got shirt? Real or imaginary? Post it in comments!

Originally published at jlake.com.

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(no subject) - (Anonymous)
User: madrobins
Date: 2009-09-04 18:06 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
So totally love your icon.
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User: the_blue_fenix
Date: 2009-09-04 13:19 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
No loud noises or sudden movements.
Reply | Thread | Link

User: cypherindigo
Date: 2009-09-04 13:23 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I am crazy, not stupid.
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User: uglychicken
Date: 2009-09-04 13:31 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Complementary stalker. It could be YOU.
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User: joycemocha
Date: 2009-09-04 13:48 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Let's see. Mood right now?

"Up Against the Wall!"

I am still kicking myself for not buying a shirt in Quebec City that read (in French)

A good lawyer knows the law.
A great lawyer knows the judge.

And then there's the Zombie Tools shirt with Zombie! Che.
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User: anton_p_nym
Date: 2009-09-04 14:09 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
"Contents under pressure; do not puncture or incinerate." (Plus appropriate WHMIS symbology.) That one's imaginary, in that I don't own one though I believe I've seen versions in the wild.

-- Steve is actually wearing a bright red t-shirt to work emblazoned with, "I'm an assassin! Shhhhhh!" plus faux blood stains. But that's not really descriptive of him...
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User: houseboatonstyx
Date: 2009-09-04 16:55 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I remember "Contents under pressure" from back when it sometimes continued, "Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate."
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User: scarlettina
Date: 2009-09-04 14:38 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere. See above.
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User: ygolonac
Date: 2009-09-04 14:45 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Reply | Thread | Link

User: pmrabble
Date: 2009-09-04 15:03 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
"Don't attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity.

I'm NOT stupid."

and the old classic (as early season ski fever starts to be triggered by nasty allergies...


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User: the_ogre
Date: 2009-09-04 15:09 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
"Easily Amused"
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Kenneth Mark Hoover
User: kmarkhoover
Date: 2009-09-04 15:28 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Many of these made me laugh, too. Thanks for sharing.
Reply | Thread | Link

calendula_witch: Paris Catacombs
User: calendula_witch
Date: 2009-09-04 15:31 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Paris Catacombs
"Cranky when wet or frozen."
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2009-09-04 15:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt.
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CJ Marsicano (CJマルシカノ): Morning fucking Musume
User: cjmarsicano
Date: 2009-09-04 16:17 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Morning fucking Musume
"Morning Musume are thieves... they stole my heart."
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User: torreybird
Date: 2009-09-04 16:22 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
"Facere sicut vivere" -- motto of New Podlandia -- my husband wore this on a t-shirt for our wedding.
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