?

Log in

No account? Create an account
[cancer] An interim update, in which our hero does nothing much - Lakeshore
An author of no particular popularity

Jay Lake
Date: 2009-09-29 05:22
Subject: [cancer] An interim update, in which our hero does nothing much
Security: Public
Tags:calendula, cancer, child, health, personal
icedrake has pointed out that I haven't mentioned the cancer lately. He's absolutely right. This isn't me in denial or hiding, it is truly a case of not much going on. As regular readers know, I had a set of scans back in July, when we were expecting to head into chemotherapy. Those scans revealed that the masses in my liver and right lung had not grown as expected, which makes the diagnosis of metastatic disease more uncertain. Unfortunately, there's no alternate diagnosis yet.

So I'm on a three-month scan-and-hold cycle for now. What this means is that I have a PET/CT scan on 10/22, which happens to be the_child's twelfth birthday. I'll have my oncology consult on 10/27, which will most likely result in another three-month scan-and-hold, or possibly trigger chemo. This situation could prevail for quite some time, unless and until we come up with an alternate diagnosis. Or maybe not. If I've learned anything, it's that the whole cancer experience is remarkably fluid.

I haven't posted about it lately because there hasn't been much to post. The Fear is back on the horizon, like a coming storm, but this time it's a squall. All the scary stuff is still out there, in spades, I've just grown used to it. The East African Plains Ape is an adaptable beast, and can become accustomed to anything. Even this. I've also become a lot less annoyed about being unsure of my forward planning — basically, I'm at risk of dropping most or all of my balls in any given six-month period with little warning. Well, ok then.

So I'll be going back to my therapist in October, to help me handle the Fear, and leaning all the more on calendula_witch as the scan and consult dates approach. Watch this space for more details.

Originally published at jlake.com.

Post A Comment | 13 Comments | | Link






lotusice
User: lotusice
Date: 2009-09-29 13:56 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Good thoughts for both best possible news and courage where warranted, though I'm a big fan of the massive screaming flail every once in a while, particularly when the situation warrants it.
Reply | Thread | Link



lotusice
User: lotusice
Date: 2009-09-29 13:57 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Wow, and that wasn't even English, I don't think. O.o

How about this: Loves!!
Reply | Parent | Thread | Link



User: deborahjross
Date: 2009-09-29 16:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:crone with wreath
Holding you in the Light...
Reply | Thread | Link



Bibbit
User: bridget_coila
Date: 2009-09-29 17:31 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Good luck at the next appointment. Hope it is all good news!

(and, OMG, she's gonna be 12 already?!?!)

B
Reply | Thread | Link



Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2009-09-29 23:38 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Yep, 12. And auditioning for the role of surly teen.
Reply | Parent | Thread | Link



crystalrmartin
User: crystalrmartin
Date: 2009-09-30 05:23 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Random oddity that made me smile, my son's twelfth birthday is 10/16. I also see the emerging surly teen. ;)
Reply | Parent | Thread | Link



User: dsgood
Date: 2009-09-29 20:31 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Sending good thoughts.
Reply | Thread | Link



shelly_rae: Big leaf Maple
User: shelly_rae
Date: 2009-09-30 02:34 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Big leaf Maple
Well, we could take up skydiving while waiting. Well you could, my doctors said no to that.
I want to do this trip--maybe next year if I can...wanna go too?
Anon
Reply | Thread | Link



shelly_rae: Triathlete
User: shelly_rae
Date: 2009-09-30 02:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Triathlete
Which is to say...you can lean on me too. I might wobble but I won't drop you. I too have broad shoulders.
Anon
Reply | Parent | Thread | Link



Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2009-09-30 12:01 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Thank you.
Reply | Parent | Thread | Link



Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2009-09-30 12:01 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I do believe I'll join you in not skydiving. My one, true, out-of-my-mind phobia is the falling sensation. Roller coasters make me want to climb out of the car, and high dives are verboten. But that Turquoise Coast thing looks *awesome*. I'd go with you in a heartbeat if time and funds permitted.
Reply | Parent | Thread | Link



shelly_rae: Dogwood
User: shelly_rae
Date: 2009-10-01 02:06 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Dogwood
As I find out more about my injury I'm thinking no more roller coasters for me too. I've been dreaming about that Turquoise Coast trip for many years. It may be time to just do it. I've not done a trip like that on my own before but there's a first time for everything, right? And if I want to jump from the boat into turquoise waters I'll do it feet first.

Besides, we both know that doing something I want to do "now" is better than putting it off...right? Right.

I'm voting for a good alternate diagnosis.
Anon

Reply | Parent | Thread | Link



Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2009-10-01 12:44 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Yes, we've both achieved a sharpened understanding of what it means to live in the now, haven't we? And thank'ee.
Reply | Parent | Thread | Link



browse
my journal
links
January 2014
2012 appearances