Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[food] The virtues of wretched excess; or, what I made for lunch

calendula_witch had her friend Notorious G, and NG's swain, over for lunch today, in connection with orientation on care and feeding of the extensive Witchnest orchid collection whilst she is up in Oregon for my surgery and recovery. I volunteered to cook. Apparently, madness descended, because I seemed to think that everybody needed about 7,000 calories for lunch.

I made lasagna, for some value of the term "lasagna". This originated with a meal I had somewhere in my recent travels (possibly in San Jose) where I was served a deconstructed lasagna. Ie, big flat pasta in layers with sauce and whatnot, but simply built loose upon the plate rather than laid down in a pan and baked. This seemed kind of neat, so I went for it, using no particular recipe but random inspiration.

My sins:

Chopped and lightly sauteed in butter an entire head of garlic, which I mixed with about a tablespoon of finely chopped fresh oregano, then with a stick of butter to make garlic butter for the baguette and pugliese I bought fresh this morning.

Made a salad of arugula, mixed greens, onions, tomatoes, cheese, and chow mein noodles. (This was not particularly heinous, but did serve as a grace note of plausible deniability for the nutritional blast crater that was the lasagna.)

Chopped and lightly sauteed in butter another entire head of garlic, which I split into two portions. Cooked down a pound of sliced cremini mushrooms in butter. Lightly sauteed in olive oil a red bell pepper and half a purple onion. Combined all of the above in a plain storebought red sauce base with the garlic set aside from before, along with about four tablespoons of minced cilantro and two tablespoons of finely chopped fresh oregano. Let that sit and steep for a few hours.

Meanwhile, I sauteed in olive oil eight green onions chopped down, and four serranos. I melted a pound and a half of fontina cheese in heavy cream, added the onions and serranos, the balance of my garlic, a quarter cup of green olives sliced in half, a tablespoon of truffle oil, heavy black pepper and moderate paprika.

Also for giggles I pan fried a pound of chopped prosciutto.

I then boiled a large pack of lasagna noodles, laid them down flat on four plates, spooned out a generous helping of red sauce, a couple of tablespoons of ricotta, and a portion of the prosciutto. Another layer of noodles, a generous portion of white sauce, more ricotta, and more prosciutto. Another layer of noodles, an artistic mix of red and white sauces, then topped with grated parmesan.

Served hot with garlic bread from the oven and the salad on the side. I'm not sure why all four of us didn't wind up in the cardiac ward, but zomg was it good. Deeply heinous, but stupid tasty. Pretty sure I should be banned from kitchens for life, or at least for a while.

But I ain't sorry. Nuh uh.

Tags: calendula, food
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