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[cancer] Closing in - Lakeshore — LiveJournal
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Jay Lake
Date: 2009-11-23 05:51
Subject: [cancer] Closing in
Security: Public
Tags:calendula, cancer, family, health
Surgery is in two days. Nothing like a nacho-ectomy to brighten one's holidays. Still, I think this is a good time to have this surgery.

I've been narrowing more and more. It's increasingly difficult to respond to email, and I've become almost utterly single threaded. I know from last year's cancer surgery that this is normal for me pre-op, but I have some pretty serious hate for what the whole business does to my mind and my emotions.

shelly_rae has been here since my return from California last week, being an absolute brick, and serving as my cancer buddy. calendula_witch arrived last night, bearing my heart with her. I've got an H1N1 shot today (finally!) and a therapist's appointment, some friend/family stuff tomorrow, then, well, that's pretty much it for a while.

This blog will be going dormant while I'm in the hospital, at least til I've recovered sufficiently to peck at a keyboard. calendula_witch will be posting updates on her blog, and she'll have the keys to my Twitter feed, @jay_lake, for realtime updates during surgery and my post-operative stay in the ICU.

My state of mind is about what you'd expect. A mix of dread, terror and anticipation. Two days from now I jump off a cliff and begin a long fall that won't really end before next July when I've tapered off chemo.

I never wanted this. No one ever does, I guess. Sometimes the sheer horror of it all just overwhelms me. I just hang on to the notion that I'll eventually get my life back.

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User: beth_bernobich
Date: 2009-11-23 13:54 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
*hugs*

Keeping you in my thoughts, Jay.
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Laura Anne Gilman: dandelion break
User: suricattus
Date: 2009-11-23 14:04 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:dandelion break
*quiet but steady well-wishes heading your way from this corner of the blogosphere*
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threeoutside
User: threeoutside
Date: 2009-11-23 14:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
We'll be thinking of you, Jay. Hang in there.
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User: jess_ka
Date: 2009-11-23 14:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:love
I'll be thinking of you, Jay; sending lots of love and good thoughts and, of course, virtual hugs.
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Darja
User: ombriel
Date: 2009-11-23 14:29 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, Jay.
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evannichols
User: evannichols
Date: 2009-11-23 14:31 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I'll be sending positive thoughts your way, too. I hope it all goes smoothly and you're back on the blog soon!
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mevennen
User: mevennen
Date: 2009-11-23 14:52 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Really hoping things go as well as possible.
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Matthew S. Rotundo: Radioactive
User: matthewsrotundo
Date: 2009-11-23 15:11 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Radioactive
Once more unto the breach, dear friend.

Go kick cancer's ass again.
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ozarque
User: ozarque
Date: 2009-11-23 15:11 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Thank you for letting us know when the surgery is going to happen. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers.
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coreolis
User: curiositist
Date: 2009-11-23 15:18 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Like everyone else, keeping you right up front of my thoughts and well wishes. If we have anything to say about it, as you've said yourself, you'll be the healthiest sonofabitch in North America.
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madrobins
User: madrobins
Date: 2009-11-23 15:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
If good thoughts heal, you will be well on your way when they roll you out of the OR. You are much loved. Still, it's a process. At the other end work, love, and hope are waiting for you.

Hang in there.
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Leah Cutter: Structure
User: lrcutter
Date: 2009-11-23 16:10 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Structure
You're in my thoughts Jay, and I will continue to think of you through out all this.

::massive hugs::
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User: ex_catherin85
Date: 2009-11-23 16:42 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Sending good wishes for a speedy, successful surgery and a rapid recovery.
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Debbie
User: debmats
Date: 2009-11-23 16:44 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Best wishes for your quick recovery.
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