Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[personal] The phone call that would not die

Ah, the perils of cancerbrain.

Yesterday, calendula_witch and I actually left the house by automobile. I've been walking, but otherwise indoors, since the surgery. Videos needed to be returned, and one re-rented, and I just wanted out. (As it happens, the ride was intensely uncomfortable due to my chest swelling issues, but still worth the effort.)

As we were preparing to leave, I could not find the car keys. I'd swapped cars with Mother of the Child, as her seats are much higher and more vertical than those in either the Genre Car or the Witchmobile, and are built such that I can position myself with less pain and discomfort. the_child had left me with the keys, but they were nowhere to be found. calendula_witch and I tossed the house. I called MotC and the_child, both of whom had gone over to her friend D—'s house for dinner, on both their cell phone and on the landline at D—'s house. No answer on either line (calls 1 and 2), so I called back and left an urgent message on each trying to find out if the_child had moved the car keys (calls 3 and 4).

The car keys were eventually found in my pocket. (Ahem.) I called back both numbers and left messages saying everything was alright, no need to call me back (calls 5 and 6). A few minutes later, D— called me back (call 7). We had one of those conversations one has with children where an otherwise erudite and verbose child suddenly acquires the conversational agility of a soap dish.

D—: "What did you want?"
jaylake: "Nothing now. We figured it out. the_child doesn't need to call me back."
D—: "What...?"
jaylake: "Everything's ok. I don't need to talk to anyone."
D—: "What...?"
jaylake: "Tell the_child that I don't need her to call back."
D—: "What...?"

A few minutes later, the_child called me back (call 8). We reprised the same conversation, right down to the dull-voiced and uncomprehending refrain of "What...?"

A few minutes later, Mother of the Child called me back (call 9). I carefully explained that I was trying to head off further phone calls by telling people everything was alright, that my initial message no longer applied, and they really, really, really didn't need to call me back any more, really, I swear, everything was fine.

At 1:30 this morning, my cell phone rang, waking me out of a sound sleep (call 10). It was D—'s mother. "From the caller ID, it looks like you called. What's up?"

Aaaauuuuuughhh!!!

Tags: calendula, cancer, child, funny, personal
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