January 5th, 2005

jay-China-avatar

Thank God I didn't sleep on the wet spot

So in addition to the usual number of functional orifices, I also have two cats and a seven-year-old Child. In other words, I'm used to icky things happening in life.

So envision this...I live alone. The Child lives with the senior upstairs tenant, well, upstairs. I live in a separate basement apartment. I sleep on a queen-sized futon, but generally sleep on the right side of the mattress. This morning I woke up in the pitch dark, sort of stretched out, and found a wet spot.

An inner monolog ensued.

Me:Why is there a wet spot?
Me:(thinking) Not for the usual, obvious reason.
Me:(rubs, then sniffs fingers) Not cat pee.
Me:(envisions architecture of ceiling) Nothing upstairs but an unused bedroom. Besides, that side of the bed is directly under the cold air return duct for the heater. Nothing to leak.
Me:Did the cat climb into the toilet, then walk around? (shudders)
Me:(reluctantly turns on bedside lamp)
Me:(quietly) Damn. Now I know where the cat was puking in the middle of the night.
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