February 1st, 2007

jay-southpark

Most mornings I find I'm awake

The Canticle for Lebowski thread is still open, but I've cut off the threshold for eligibility for the giveaway. Feel free to read and comment indefinitely. The poll is going to be, erm, large and complex, so it almost certainly won't be up til tomorrow.

Dreamt last night that I was watching maryrobinette open her mail. As in, cut open envelopes and pull the bills out. Even with my foetid imagination I can't find an arch or clever interpretation for that one.

More later. Work now.
writing-leopard_cow

A Canticle for Lebowski Voting Poll

Here's the voting poll for the A Canticle for Lebowski contest. As mentioned in the original posts, all competitive entries must be fantasy or science fiction related. (There were some brilliant entries which didn't meet this qualification, but are well worth the read.) Also, one entry per customer, chosen at my discretion. All posts after the cut-off time were disregarded, mostly for the sake of my sanity. Due to LJ code restrictions, I had to truncate the entries at 230 characters, so some longer descriptions got cut off. You might want to refer back to the original thread if you want to see someone's entire brilliance.

I'll leave the voting open til Monday. That morning I'll announce the top two vote-getters. The winner will receive the coveted Greetings From Lake Wu limited edition from Traife Buffet Haute Biblio. The runner up will receive a copy of Mainspring [ Amazon ] from Tor Books (as soon as I have one to send). There may be a few judge's honorable mentions as well. As always, ties to be settled by the_child.

[ RSS Feed | Atom Feed ]

Poll #918865 A Canticle for Lebowski
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All. Participants: 117

What's your favorite SF mashup from the A Canticle for Lebowski contest?

View Answers
aerolith Super Starship Troopers- A down and out squad of power armored assault troops who spend their time pranking the local spurberry bug colony residents must fight to save their command post from budget cutbacks
1(0.9%)
anansi133 Trek Wars- while waiting in line for the last movie, costumed star wars fans experience a drive-by nurfing perpetrated by people dressed as Klingons. An arms race ensues during the next star trek film, when cos
1(0.9%)
carnrite Stranger in a Strange Land of the Dead - Upon his return to Earth, Valentine Michael Smith learns that the one true path to enlightenment may only be found by following the brain.
0(0.0%)
castewar The Ghostbusters from the Grand Banks
1(0.9%)
charlesks Galactic Highway Patrol- Broderick Crawford is newly graduated Lensman Kimball Kinnison, one of the men whose training, skill, and courage have enforced and preserved our Civilization's laws.
0(0.0%)
chef_chopper The Empire Strikes Back to the Future- Marty discovers something new about Doc Brown... "Marty, I am your father!"
1(0.9%)
clemtaur Time After Time Bandits- Dwarves jack H.G. Wells's time machine and use it to fight Evil. Fidget devourers an entire MacDonald's, a theater showing Star Wars is shot up, and Evil kills Jack the Ripper in a fit
0(0.0%)
danamongden Postcards from Foundation's Edge- Hari Seldon, at the demand of the emperor, must now live with his controlling alcoholic mother.
1(0.9%)
danjite Finnegan's Wake The Dead.
1(0.9%)
deidzoeb The Adventures of Doc Savage Across the 8th Dimension- In their separate universes, Doc Savage and Buckaroo Banzai see each other's movies. Both men complain to their sidekicks about the unbelievable movies the
0(0.0%)
delkytlar The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Quest- Dent Arthur Dent discovers that all of his adventures were scripted episodes from an old TV show, the Heart of Gold is actually a 14" plastic model lit with Christmas
5(4.3%)
dinogrl SlingBladeRunner- Karl will reckon he has to kill all the pretty skinjobs with his lawnmower blade, because the Bible of told him so.
2(1.7%)
djonn Foundation and Trust- Set in a far future where we find Angel, Spike, and their supernatural allies locked in an ongoing struggle with Hari Seldon's psychohistoric Foundation, which proves to be in an unholy p
0(0.0%)
eakawie Battlestar Gattica - The last remaining survivors of humanity turn to Eugenics to defeat the Cylons.
1(0.9%)
elenuial Lord of the Ring of Time- Frodo has had to walk to that damn mountain in more incarnations than he cares to remember, but last time he got corrupted and all the wizards went stark raving loony, so everyone worr
0(0.0%)
elfs Kushiel's Scion Tc- In which an advertising campaign for cheap automobiles goes horribly wrong and brings an unfortunate young man to the attention of gods with a taste for pain. A sequel, Kushiel's Subaru Lega
0(0.0%)
ellipticcurve The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, Queen of the Desert- The titular physicist-rock star-drag queen takes himself and his fellow adventurers on a road trip of self-discovery, where they expand the narrow minds
5(4.3%)
elusis Jonathan Strange & Mr. Rogers - in which a reckless but brilliant young magician attempts to use his powers to save England from King Friday XIII while wearing sneakers and a cardigan.
3(2.6%)
etcet To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything - Johnny Mnemonic- Befriending a cross-dressing extrovert is the key to unlocking the secrets clients store in Johnny's head. He's a very technical, and fabulous, boy.
3(2.6%)
merriehaskell Cool Silent Runnings- A group of Jamaican androids hijacks a space freighter in hopes to turn it into an interspace bobsled
1(0.9%)
farrisgoldstein Logan’s Nun- After successfully evading Carousel, Logan finds himself forced to hide in a convent, dressed in habit. Along the way he teaches some tired old ladies to sing, and learns a little bit about kindnes
2(1.7%)
fenmere Raising Eragon- A dragonless couple steals a whelp to raise for themselves, but they find the dragonlet to be more trouble than they bargained for, especially when the husband's delinquent brothers break from
1(0.9%)
fings Speaker for the Evil Dead- Ash, having destroyed the Evil Dead, now feels bad for what he has done, and goes off to contemplate his actions. But the Evil Dead have left a puzzle behind, and perhaps they are n
1(0.9%)
frogworth The Moonraker's Progress - James Bond being, frankly, James Bond, whoring and womanising and wasting all his money... IN SPACE! With a soundtrack by Igor Stravinsky, and clever little cameos of Hogarth engravin
0(0.0%)
garunya Lieutenant Bueller's Day Off- Star Fleet Lieutenant Ferris Bueller, disappointed that he got stuck in a mindless desk job (his sister got her own ship), convinces his friend Captain Cameron Frye of the Enterpr
1(0.9%)
germankitty The Number of the Beast -- the early version has a hair-metal band trying to make it big on the Billboard chart, whereas the remake has AOL trying to replace 0-800-666 with unlimited DSL and parental controls.
0(0.0%)
ginalin Steel Dawn Magnolias- In a post apocalyptic world, a group of strong Southern women wander the desert in search of the beauty parlor that feathered Patrick Swayze's hair as they fight a murderous gang for wate
0(0.0%)
gooddamon Spider-Man from U.N.C.L.E. - Suave spy Napoleon Solo, played by Tobey Maguire, unexpectedly gains super powers after the nefarious T.H.R.U.S.H. captures him and exposes him to a trap involving radioactive spide
3(2.6%)
goulo 2004- A totalitarian government aided by a complicit media uses doublespeak and laughably ridiculous propaganda to convince the populace that they are continually in grave danger by internal and external enemi
0(0.0%)
greyduck In To Die Hard in Italbar- The galaxy is in chaos, with people falling prey to an unidentifiable disease. Only one man has the ability to help — a man who can heal or kill with a touch, usually while tossing o
0(0.0%)
howeird Hitchhiker's Guide to The Forbidden Planet
0(0.0%)
j_steven_york Podkayne of Mars Attacks - The Martian invader's vulnerability to Slim Whitman music is tragically discovered too late to save the viewpoint character from being killed in the last chapter.
0(0.0%)
jabber Anne of Soylent Green Gables - A rambunctious orphan is adopted by an elderly couple in Nova Scotia, and learns at the annual cotillion that the cherry cordial is People! The Cordial is People!
3(2.6%)
jdparadise Ender's Game of Thrones- Ender Wiggin is tough, and Ender Wiggin is smart. But Ender Wiggin is nine, and winter is coming. It's Stark v Lannister v Baratheon v Wiggin v dragons and wights and buggers in a stee
2(1.7%)
jedinemo Methuselah's Children of the Corn - On their return home, Lazarus Long and the Howard clan land in the wrong green hills of Earth.
1(0.9%)
jeff_h Death Star 911- A reality show chronicling the bumbling misadventures of the 501st legion as they attempt to maintain order. Features new hot pants body armor option.
1(0.9%)
joetank Newsradio Free Albemuth - Despite its uniformly excellent writing and cast, this was one of the most underrated and underwatched of the Gnostic SF sitcoms of the mid '90s.
1(0.9%)
johnnyeponymous To Your Scannered Bodies Go- Everyone whose head blew up is reincarnated on Riverworld.
1(0.9%)
fools_and_irish Forbidden Planet of the Apes- man, those primates should NEVER have begun messing around with ancient alien mind-probing technology.
0(0.0%)
joshenglish The Moon is a Harsh Mistress of the Dark- Cassandra Petersen and a sentient computer gather a bunch of moon kids to build a save their habitat from Earth real estate developers. With the help of her grandmothe
0(0.0%)
juliabk Indiana Jones and the Goblet of Fire Indy seeks out the fabled Goblet of Fire. On the way he must brave the horrors of Death Eaters and hormonally charged teen-aged girls with magical powers.
3(2.6%)
chipmunk_planet The Chronicles of America -- Georgie, struck with amnesia, wanders the world until he finds he is actually Prince George the Dubya, heir to the throne of America. But no one believes it's him. He's tanned, rest
0(0.0%)
ladyphoenixia Me, myself, and I Robot- A man discovers he has two personalities, one being a robot he was bonded with in an emergency operation in his youth. Chaos ensues.
0(0.0%)
loftwyr The Colour Purple of Magic- A Failed Wizard and his luggage wander the south trying to overcome racial prejudice.
1(0.9%)
lonfiction Shrek- An Afterword - There came a stench so beguiling that even a cold-minded ogre must surrender to it. There came a war so strange that gingerbread men became weapons. There came a prince so terrible no one
2(1.7%)
lossrockheart Spider Baby Boom- The life of super-yuppie J.C. Wiatt (Diane Keaton) is thrown into turmoil when she inherits three demented children (Sid Haig, Jill Banner, and Beverly Washburn) from a distant relative. Comed
13(11.1%)
lysana Rashopokemon - To figure out whether it was rape or willing seduction, you gotta catch all the perspectives.
1(0.9%)
maradydd The Cat Who Walks Up the Walls of the World- A retired military pharmacist flees with his pneumatic sidekick-lover to a world inhabited by rabidly libertarian psychic aliens. Doom encroaches, kittens teleport,
0(0.0%)
memegarden My Neighbor Tampopo- Two sisters explore their rural neighborhood and find a magic noodle shop where a giant furry spirit of the forest teaches them to make the perfect noodle, interspersed with scenes of furr
2(1.7%)
meyowmix The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Damned--LeStat does a drag performance in the Australian outback to call up the vampire queen.
3(2.6%)
muneraven Harold & Kumar Go to The Man in the High Castle- Two young men get President Franklin D. Roosevelt and Vice President John Nance Garner completely stoned and the U.S. forgets to fight WWII, resulting in a world
9(7.7%)
pnh O Stranger, Where Art Thou- After escaping from a chain gang, Valentine Michael Smith brings free love to the Depression-era South. Country music ensues.
1(0.9%)
q13_exe Blue Velvetine Rabbit- Starring Dennis Hopper. David Lynch's classic children's tale. When A young man returning home finds his favourite old toy abandoned in a feild, the suburban myth of "toys becoming real"
1(0.9%)
queencallipygos Brokeback To The Future- Dr. Brown shows Marty some of the other uses for the flux capacitor.
3(2.6%)
r0ck3tsci3ntist Mona Lisa Snowcrash - a singularity of cyber punk ensues, world ends in a black hole of coolness.
1(0.9%)
rakdaddy Flash Gordon, where Sesame Street's baldest resident has to save the world from Ming von Merciless and his deadly Counting Brigades.
1(0.9%)
readwrite Puppet Monster- A sinister alien race seizes control of humans' minds by dressing them in gorilla suits and diving helmets.
0(0.0%)
rosefox A Boy and His Dogma- A young archangel rescues the mother of God from a gang of roving ex-angels and attempts to conform to her human expectations. Rated R for the grisly ending where Alanis Morissette and Alan
6(5.1%)
rysmiel Run Lolita Run- A middle-aged scholar is tormented by a passion for a pubescent girl, who shamelessly manipulates him into helping her boyfriend, who has stupidly left a large sum of money which he owes some dr
2(1.7%)
safewrite The Sandking of Queens- A sitcom for all ages- in a working-class suburb of Queens, New York, the show follows Simon Kress (Jay Lake), an amiable geek and terreium hobbyist, and his sentient Genremobile (voice
0(0.0%)
saveswhat Jurassic Wind -Rhett and Scarlett wake up to find the plantation overrun with cloned herbivorous dinosaurs who are emitting more than their share of methane gas.
0(0.0%)
scarlettina Time Lord of the Rings- When a power hungry Time Lord crosses time and space to retrieve a gold ring of power, only a group of hobbits and a blond girl from London can stop him and his raging Dalek horde.
1(0.9%)
skidspoppe Dandelion Whine- A group of anthropomorphic flowers bitch about the state of existence in a beautiful summertime setting
1(0.9%)
tbruce Booty Call of Cthulu- Batrachian buddy-movie shows Dagon-lovin' losers Rushon (Omar Epps) and Bunz (John Malkovich) showing off their love craft as they chase vestigial tail on the reefs around Innsmouth. With
7(6.0%)
tehrasha Watership Down and Out in Beverly Hills -- An animated tale, of rabbits surviving on the well manicured lawns of California's elite. (starring the voices of Richard Dreyfuss, Nick Nolte, Bette Midler, and Littl
0(0.0%)
the_expatriate Ban Ki-Moon Is A Harsh Mistress- After a biological terrorist attack on New York City, the United Nations relocates to the International Space Station. Driven mad by the stress of relocating the world's largest
1(0.9%)
the_ogre Baby Snakes on a Plane - This slice of life semi-documentary portrays a day in the life of a very strange rock n'roll band. Frank Zappa (played by Bobby Cannavale) and his touring band and hangers-on are on a p
1(0.9%)
tsgeisel Strange Dandelion Wine - A nostalgic look at two brothers childhood quest for a case of free wine. (Strange Brew-Dandelion Wine)
0(0.0%)
tymothil Pygmalien - Eliza Doolittle Ripley is the only survivor when Henry Higgens makes the mistake of betting a friend that he can turn a xenomorph into a society lady.
5(4.3%)
witchwillow A Series of Unfortunate Event Horizons- A trio of orphaned kids must investigate the starship where their parents disappeared years ago into a black hole. But things in the ship are not as they seem and the sea
0(0.0%)
yellow_warbler Creature from the Blue Lagoon- A pubescent fantasy gone very wrong. Teenage boy shipwrecked on coral atoll discovers that co-survivor is not a nubile girl, but must be at least - gasp. - 35. Horrors ensue.
0(0.0%)
yourbob Freaks Friday- An evil midget tortures himself when bodies are suddenly switched.
3(2.6%)
Dan Lewis The Martian Chronicles of Narnia- A nuclear explosion catapults four children to the red planet, where they meet a kind-hearted alien who died for their sins.
0(0.0%)
Ed-UK | The Dark Side of the Sundiver- A fabulously rich playboy, on the run from his father's assassins, joins a research team sending a sophisticated craft into the outer shell of a star. But what is the connection b
0(0.0%)
Kent Peterson | 2001- A Space Odd Couple -- 2 mismatched middle-aged guys, one neat and one sloppy bicker while on a trip to a moon of Jupiter, must dismantle the ship's homicidal computer, and explore the alien stargate.
0(0.0%)
Manabus | Fahrenheit 2001- The Temperature at Which HAL Burns. A “Fireman” questions his mission of burning sentient computers after hearing one screaming “Daisy, Daisy, how does your… Oh Dear God it hurts…
5(4.3%)
Mind Bleach | American Gods & Generals - Five hours of Mr. Wednesday leading General Lee from battleground to battleground and basking in the warm glow of freshly spilled blood. Loki would've shown up, but he was busy lighti
0(0.0%)
Msrotundo | The Deathbirdcage-- Drag club owner Nathan Stack must save a dying Earth from a homophobic senator with a God complex.
1(0.9%)
Myowneve | The Nightmare Before Independence Day- jack skellington, played by jeff goldblum, must lead the residents of halloweentown, also played by jeff goldblum, against alien invaders.
0(0.0%)
writetomeyouwill | Spartinator - Michael Douglas is sent back in time to stop Kirk Douglas destroying the Roman Empire.
0(0.0%)
xoxuxox | Bright Lights, Big Permutation City - A copy of a disillusioned young writer living in New York City turns to drugs, drinking and artificial life to block out the memories of his dead mother and estranged wife.
0(0.0%)
graffiti-bikes

Moving pictures, static frames

When I was younger, really from around the time I was twelve right into my 30s, I had a real problem accepting musicals as a form of entertainment. I think that at some level I am very literally minded. I just can't accept a bunch of people on the street spontaneously breaking into choreographed musicale.

Now, this is rather weird, given how profoundly embedded I've been in fantasy and science fiction since about 4th grade. I never had any problem accepting hobbits, or lensmen, or what have you. I think the distinction is that I've always been very text-oriented (I literally can't remember not being able to read), whereas I'm virtually blind to the nuances of music, and deeply inept at pretty much any form of dance which doesn't involve St. Vitus.

It has been in raising the_child, and being an active participant in her movie watching -- something her mother and I have always carefully monitored and managed -- that I've come to appreciate the musical as a story-telling form. Many of the movies I yawned through or scorned in my youth have acquired a vast new power for me. Mary Poppins can be seen as a radical deconstruction of Mr. Banks' life, with strong feminist and post-modern tropes rather ahead of their time. The Music Man is downright dirty, in a very funny way. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is a rather clever exercise in frame making and breaking, as well as a bizarre fusion of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the James Bond ur-story.

It makes me wonder what else I've missed in my dismissal of literary and artistic forms. We all have our tastes, developed in different ways. What have you come back to later in life that you might have rejected at first?
jay-China-avatar

Bizarre

Gmail's spam filtering -- which shifts its algorithm constantly insofar as I can tell -- just decided that a legitimate message from the Gmail Team (ie, its own admin) was spam.

Software. What are you going to do?