March 10th, 2009

jay-China-avatar

[links] Link salad is a day tripper

The when did you get published poll (with discussion in comments): [ jlake.com | LiveJournal ]

Some results (with more discussion): [ jlake.com | LiveJournal ]

scarlettina with more on the St. John's bible project

Cliff's Notes: the Manga Edition — (Thanks to sheelangig.)

Our Own DevicesWhy we love the machines we shouldn't.

Shifting religious identities — Faith is apparently on the decline. More here. I have trouble seeing this as bad news, given that I'm an atheist and a rationalist. (Snurched from someone on Twitter, but I've lost the source.)

?otD: How long has it been since you found out?




3/10/2009
Body movement: 60 minute session with trainer
This morning's weigh-in: 219.0
Currently reading: The Confidence-Man: His Masquerade by Herman Melville; Watchmen by Alan Moore etc.


Originally published at jlake.com.

jay-China-avatar

[books] An important note about Pinion

Just a quick peek inside the sausage factory here, along with a huge "thank you."

stillsostrange has a book entitled Pinion which is currently going through the contracting process, through our shared agent, arcaedia. When arcaedia, casacorona and I were hammering through possible production titles for Tourbillon, I came up with Pinion without realizing stillsostrange was already using it.

Titles aren't copyrighted, and books with similar (or identitical) titles are endemic. But none of us wanted to step on stillsostrange. So we checked production schedules and other likely points of confusion, then asked stillsostrange if she minded that I use Pinion for the third Mainspring book.

Quite graciously, she agreed.

So here is a big shout-out and a thank you to stillsostrange, who is a Hero of the Revolution and will get some love in the book, besides.

Originally published at jlake.com.

jay-China-avatar

[cancer] A brief return of The Fear

Longtime readers will recall my Excellent Cancer Adventures of the past year. Had my quarterly followup with my cancer surgeon today, during which we scheduled the colonoscopy and CT scans for the one-year followup this coming May, just after the one-year anniversary of my surgery.

Afterwards, in the car, I had an outbreak of The Fear. (See also here: [ jlake.com | LiveJournal ].) I've recently experienced an odd moment of grief [ jlake.com | LiveJournal ], and since then, some deep melancholy, on the day Escapement Powell's | Amazon ] was released in mass market paperback. (That was an echo of the fact that I first went into the hospital on the day that Mainspring Powell's | Amazon thb | Audible ] was released in mass market paperback.)

This was different.

I'd been talking to my doc about what we were looking for in the tests. Specifically, tumor recurrence in the colon, lymph system or liver; as well as any polyps which might have been too small to be detected last year when various medical professionals went spelunking in my fine and private places. This was pretty sobering, although not particularly alarming in medical terms.

After the consult, I felt fussy, angry, stressed out. I sat in my parked car talking to calendula_witch about the tests and what they meant, then suddenly burst into tears. Just overwhelmed.

Because I am afraid of what we might find.

My doctor is as optimistic as he can be, but until we look, we will not know. We must look, we must know, but for a few minutes I was back in the Big Cancer Fear of last April and May. calendula_witch was very sweet and understanding, talking me down in part by telling me I'd gone to a dark and scary place. In the context of colon cancer, this suddenly seemed very funny. It's hard to laugh and cry at the same time.

The fear is purely emotional. Medically I'm as good as I can be. These tests are purely risk management and good followup. Yes, something might be there, but if it is, I'll beat that like I beat this last round of cancer. Emotional or not, it's real.

And today I realize that the Big Cancer Fear will never really die. It doesn't keep me awake at night or stalk my dreaming mind, but it's with me. It always will be. With my own strong heart and the love of my friends and family, I will always be better than The Fear.

Originally published at jlake.com.

writing-Mainspring

[writing] Progris riport, day 7, revising Pinion

Pinion, f/k/a Tourbillon, has had a close line editing pass. All done.

Starting tomorrow (or possibly Thursday, depending on what else needs to get done tomorrow), I'm back in for the deep cuts, now that I have it in my head.

And in case you missed it this morning, my "thank you" to stillsostrange on the matter of the title: [ jlake.com | LiveJournal ]

Originally published at jlake.com.