May 25th, 2009

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[links] Link salad mellows out in the city by the bay

Grants Pass reviewedcalendula_witch and I both have stories therein.

Dark Roasted Blend with thrilling movie posters!

Does My Metro Area Look Big in this Ring Road?Strange Maps with some comparative cartography.

Flaws in the "Long Tail" theory — (Snurched from Scrivener's Error.)

Lifestyle or Genes? Health Secrets of a 114-Year Old Man — (Thanks to tetar.)

In South Korea, All of Life Is Mobile — (Thanks to Dad.)

?otD: How high should I hold my arms up?



5/25/2009
Body movement: 60 minute urban walk (Twin Peaks!)
This morning's weigh-in: 218.5 (Witchnest scale)
Currently reading: The Hallowed Hunt by Lois McMaster Bujold; A Long Line of Cells by Lewis Thomas


Originally published at jlake.com.

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[cancer] Slow dancing with the Fear

Not much has changed in this year's New Adventures in Cancer since my last update. A bit more information, courtesy of my conversation with calendula_witch's professional associate, and some more time to think. I've been turning over how this will affect everything from my summer plans to my lifestyle choices. Writing and publishing schedules have also been much in mind.

The Fear came back last night. Luckily I was right next to calendula_witch when it happened — usually the Fear catches me alone. She was beyond generous in letting me ride it out and helping me re-center afterwards. As is generally the case for me with the Fear, it came on suddenly and passed just as suddenly. Like a blackline squall in my soul.

I am tired of being afraid, tired of hearing myself talk about this, tired of focusing on it. On the plus side, I went two days at BayCon without needing to do much focusing other than catching friends up on the details.

And this year's bout is a lot less terrifying than last year's. Maybe familiarity breeds contempt. Or perhaps I just have a better handle on what it is and where it's going. The big struggle continues to be my sense of the long-term changes in my time horizons and possible life choices. I'm simply higher-risk. That hasn't been formally quantified yet, but it's true on the face of things.

Also like last year's bout of cancer, this one is already giving me gifts. I'm not too foolish to see them, but I am still very much resenting the process as well as what it does and will do to me.

I keep on keeping on.

Originally published at jlake.com.

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[photos] Flowers of Twin Peaks

Walked up Twin Peaks this morning while calendula_witch was at yoga. I normally do this walk around 4 am, so I brought the camera to see what I could see in daylight. There was a heavy fog (for than San Francisco value of "fog" which seems to include low-flying clouds at various altitudes) so I got no look at the usual vistas up there, Collapse )

As usual, more at the Flickr set.

Originally published at jlake.com.