July 6th, 2009

jay-China-avatar

[links] Link salad goes to work from the beach

bravado111 with a photo spread on Green Powell's | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Borders ] — Heh.

Flags of forgotten countriesDark Roasted Blend with one for the vexillologists among you. Actually, I remember most of these countries.

Igniting Fusion — Mmm, warm.

Centauri Dreams with a roundup — I draw your attention to the subsection entitled "Superluminal Radio Waves and their Uses", in turn referring to this article. Paging Sam L. Tannaity to the office. I'm just a poor little low-rent SF writer with a liberal arts degree, so maybe it's just me, but I'm really struggling with this one. Comments from the better informed?

?otD: How long is Long Beach?



7/6/2009
Body movement: n/a (will beach walk later)
This morning's weigh-in: n/a (no scale at beach house)
Currently reading: n/a (just finished P.S. Your Cat is Dead by James Kirkwood)

Originally published at jlake.com.

cancer_tumor

[cancer] Getting narrower

My world's starting to get narrower as I approach chemo. I remember this exact same effect taking place in the context of last year's surgery. The prescribing consult will be on 7/27, with various things to happen thereafter, such as installing the port in my chest and scheduling the infusions.

My sense as I go through various activities runs along the lines of well, this is the last time I'll do this for a while. Also, my underlying fear of dying from this whole experience has kicked back up. (Not like the mortality statistics are exactly uplifting at the moment anyway.) So sometimes I find myself thinking well, I may never do this again.

It's not that my fundamental optimism has faded, nor my energy and drive. This is like a layer of fear lacquered over that. The Fear, perhaps, spread micron thin and contaminating everything. A reaction to the increasing inevitability of this process. I'm still a bit abstracted from my core emotions, and spending the past two weeks with calendula_witch has helped a lot. We'll see what flows next. It ain't easy.

Originally published at jlake.com.