November 23rd, 2009


[links] Link salad stares down the barrel of a difficult week

The Torque Control post on my book Green has spawned a fascinating coments section — Go check it out. I'm not saying anything there for obvious reasons, but I'm pleased and a bit amazed at some of the careful consideration of my book going on.

Company Wants To Drill For Whiskey Lost In Arctic — (Via @GreatDismal.)

The Secret World of Naked Snakes — Fun wih nature.

A closeup of Enceladus' icescape — Wow. Wow. Wow.

On the Anniversary of Kennedy's Death, Extremism Lives Onthe paranoid strain in the American polity has reasserted itself — that strain which ascribes the worst possible motives to one's political opponents, and where lies abound and violence becomes possible Hello, GOP.

?otD: How manic is your Monday?

Body movement: 60 minute suburban walk
Hours slept: 6.25
This morning's weigh-in: 236.2 (!?)
Currently reading: Finch by Jeff VanderMeer


[cancer] Closing in

Surgery is in two days. Nothing like a nacho-ectomy to brighten one's holidays. Still, I think this is a good time to have this surgery.

I've been narrowing more and more. It's increasingly difficult to respond to email, and I've become almost utterly single threaded. I know from last year's cancer surgery that this is normal for me pre-op, but I have some pretty serious hate for what the whole business does to my mind and my emotions.

shelly_rae has been here since my return from California last week, being an absolute brick, and serving as my cancer buddy. calendula_witch arrived last night, bearing my heart with her. I've got an H1N1 shot today (finally!) and a therapist's appointment, some friend/family stuff tomorrow, then, well, that's pretty much it for a while.

This blog will be going dormant while I'm in the hospital, at least til I've recovered sufficiently to peck at a keyboard. calendula_witch will be posting updates on her blog, and she'll have the keys to my Twitter feed, @jay_lake, for realtime updates during surgery and my post-operative stay in the ICU.

My state of mind is about what you'd expect. A mix of dread, terror and anticipation. Two days from now I jump off a cliff and begin a long fall that won't really end before next July when I've tapered off chemo.

I never wanted this. No one ever does, I guess. Sometimes the sheer horror of it all just overwhelms me. I just hang on to the notion that I'll eventually get my life back.