July 20th, 2010

a-links

[links] Link salad stares into the darkness of the future

John Klima reviews Is Anybody Out There? for Tor.com

calendula_witch on my latest cancer diagnosisLikewise shelly_rae.

'Inception': Ghost Town, Ghost Faces — More on the movie from Hua Hsu, guest-blogging at Ta-Nehisi Coates' joint.

35 movies in two minutes

Vintage Movie Poster: The Brain That Wouldn't Die

Welcome to Detroit: 1900Shorpy with an image that includes one of the moon towers later appearing in Austin, TX, my former home.

Bye-Bye Batteries: Radio Waves as a Low-Power Source — (Via my Dad.)

?otD: Tumor or not tumor?




7/20/2010
Writing time yesterday: 0.0 hours (derailed by medical science)
Body movement: n/a (PET scan prep requires low activity)
Hours slept: 6.25 (interrupted)
This morning's weigh-in: n/a
Yesterday's chemo stress index: 9/10 (fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, emotional turmoil)
Currently (re)reading: Heretics of Dune by Frank Herbert

cancer-do-not-want

[cancer] The breaking of the ancient Western code

Some semirandom thoughts about yesterday's diagnosis, and a new round of surgery and chemo forthcoming.

  • This isn't fair, but nobody ever promised me fair.

  • Some contests you don't want to win.

  • I grew a tumor the size of a large olive while on chemo. How aggressive can this damned thing be?

  • Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. On the third occurrence, lift off and nuke the site from orbit. Unfortunately, I am the site.

  • My belief that I will not live to be old has deepened significantly.

  • If the universe is trying to tell me something, it's got my attention.

  • The next person who suggests I still have lessons to learn from cancer is going to be in a world of hurt.

  • Cancer sucks.

  • I am terrified.

  • Cancer still sucks.

  • Fuck cancer and the bony-ass horse it rode in on.


cancer_tumor

[cancer] A confusing development

PET scan today. Results are anomalous with respect to yesterday's CT scan. To be specific, the mass in my liver did not "light up" the PET. This may turn out to be cause for optimism, but I'm not going there yet. Next step (so far as I know) is still surgery, but we'll deal with chemo based on the pathology reports.

Much to think about.