December 18th, 2012

a-links

[links] Link salad goes back to work

Why you should probably stop eating wheat — Unfortunately for me, soft white carbs is about all I can tolerate during much of the chemo sequence.

Swamp Pop — Because we all need new music every now and then. (Via Daily Idioms, Annotated.)

Life Up Close: The Year’s Best Microscope Views of Biology — Cool stuff!

Overview — A brief documentary on the psychological and emotional experience of seeing the Earth from space. (Via David Goldman.)

By Hiring Kurzweil, Google Just Killed the Singularity — Hmmm.

“It’s a big bad scary world out there!” Are you sure North America? — Another foreign take on the USAnian culture of fear, violence and guns. (Via [info]goulo.)

NRA goes silent after Connecticut school shooting — This is very strange. Normally the NRA is all about lecturing us regarding theoretical defense of essential liberties, home defense, and watering the tree of liberty with the blood of tyrants and children. I find it literally inconceivable they have discovered a conscience after all these years, so I wonder what's up.

?otD: Work today, or something else?




12/18/2012
Writing time yesterday: 0.0 hours (chemo brain)
Hours slept: 11.5 hours (9.5 hours fitful, 2.0 hours napping)
Body movement: 0.5 hours (30 minutes on the stationary bike)
Weight: 214.4
Number of FEMA troops on my block confiscating firearms and shutting down the Internet: 0
Currently reading: The Hydrogen Sonata by Iain M. Banks

cancer-skull_tattoo

[cancer] Field notes from cancerland redux

The price of timing

Yesterday when Lisa Costello took me in for my Neulasta shot, the nurse quizzed me about when we had disconnected the pump on Sunday. Apparently if I get the shot less than 24 hours after the pump runs out, this compromises the therapeutic value. Insurance will not cover the payment, and I get billed $5,000. Wowzers. Especially since I'm not the one who schedules the shot.

GI restarts suck no matter when they come

This time, the GI restart happened the same day I came off the pump. Which is very weird. I am in a lot of discomfort, but no less than I'd be waiting two or three days for restart. I think the immediate issue is that I didn't get a day or two of rest. Not how I've ever thought of severe constipation before: as a rest day. As I said yesterday, some folks would complain if you hanged them with a new rope.

In which I am very ashamed of myself

Yesterday in the waiting area of the oncology clinic, there were several people who were medically compromised, socially intrusive and apparently unselfaware. As chemo deepens, this is what I turn into. (C.f. my recent comments about being "the other weirdo" in my therapist's waiting room. [ jlake.com | LiveJournal ]) Realizing I am on my way once again to becoming that person makes me angry and ashamed, which is an ego problem of mine, and a very unfair judgment on my fellow patients. I am not proud of myself for those resentful thoughts — I don't want to be like him — but they are real, and I am responsible for what I think and feel. Another erosion of my character in the face of cancer stress.