Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[personal|cancer] Another mixed update

Last night was pretty bad. Lower GI distress got significantly (and very unpleasantly) out of control. I have the right meds for that, but they cause other problems, so I'm perhaps too slow to take them when needed. Which I did, eventually. I feel mostly okay this morning, so I'm proceeding with the weekend plans.

scarlettina and I are packing up soon to have breakfast with my parents, then drive to Seattle. A small party this afternoon. Tomorrow I'll go visit shelly_rae, and stay with her a couple of days, taking the train home Tuesday. Dinner with a friend Tuesday night, calendula_witch arrives Wednesday, then chemo infusion number two next Friday, six days from now.

I am still tired a lot, and sleepy, but I'm slowly chivvying my sleep hours down toward normal. I'm not getting nearly the mileage out of my waking hours I would in ordinary health, but still I walked an hour yesterday, and wrote almost two hours! Wore myself out doing it, though.

On this morning's walk I was briefly, and politely, questioned by a police officer. I'd forgotten my reflective vest, which I'm pretty sure is universal code for "not a thug", because no self-respecting meth head or housebreaker would be wearing one, so I was walking in a black hoodie and black shorts. On the flip side, I was wearing the varicolored hat deborahjross knitted me, and the red scarf the_child knitted me. Not your usual crimewear.

More to the point, I am white and well-spoken. Being (relatively) tall and pale-haired/pale-eyed doesn't hurt either. But I'm not the least bit ignorant of the fact that as soon as the officer saw my face and heard my voice he relaxed. That's white privilege on the hoof, bluntly. Not having to show my ID or justify myself in detail for wandering around empty streets at 4 am in dark clothes.

For whatever it's worth, I was friendly and polite to the officer, and wished him a nice, safe morning. And as a resident of this neighborhood, I'd just as soon he did examine suspicious characters. I don't think I'm suspicious, but anyone wandering around in the rain at 4 am is a bit odd, frankly. I plan to call the police non-emergency number and thank them for the safety check, because I figure all they ever hear is bitching, so it might be nice to have a pleasant call for a change.

I mostly have part 2 of the pink unicorn post sorted in my head. It makes me realize there may be a part 3. I want to get that right, so not rushing that out this morning. And of course, every time I think about this topic, I have forty other things I want to say. Why didn't I become a talk show host or something?

Off to get ready for my weekend. You all play nice.

Tags: calendula, cancer, child, health, personal, politics, portland, religion, seattle, shellyrae, travel
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