Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[cancer] Living in the chemo mode

Into the "good" week now. Chemo session in four days. It's pretty clear now what I can expect from the next sessions, though part of that expectation is a gradual deepening of the side effects over time. In other words, I don't expect the same experiences, just similar ones.

Given the extreme toilet-based festivities of the past few days, I'm going to have to add significant digestive disruption to the eating problems and the fatigue. I'm back to sleeping about my usual amount, and waking up by about my usual time, and my morning walks are fine. I do okay with the workday (6 am to 3 pm in my world), I seem to be able to handle an hour of writing right after work, but then I'm pretty much baked. By 6 pm, a flight of stairs is a major challenge. By 8 pm, sitting up is very hard work.

I feel needy and weak, in ways that are difficult for me to accept emotionally. Logically, I understand this. And I'm incredibly thankful that everything thrown at me so far can be reasonably coped with while maintaining a decent facsimile of my usual lifestyle and priorities.

So home to Portland tomorrow, bidding farewell to shelly_rae. Wednesday calendula_witch arrives, and we have a couple of days of normal people time together before hieing off to the infusion center on Friday. Another round of living in the chemo mode.

Tags: calendula, cancer, health, personal, portland, seattle, shellyrae, travel

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