Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[personal] Valentine's Day

In the throes of cancer and chemotherapy, I continue to be keenly aware that I am a very lucky man whose life is filled with love.

When I go into the infusion center, most people are there with a spouse, or a parent, or an adult child, or friend. Some people are there alone, quietly reading a book or just dozing. Me, I need a traffic director and a scorecard to manage my support team.

When I recently needed to move furniture, Nuevo Rancho Lake overflowed with friends and strangers who spent an entire day packing, sorting, shifting, repairing, assembling, recycling, transporting, supporting, feeding, caring, and just generally keeping company.

When I stopped being able to attend conventions and be with my friends and fans and fellow writers, RadCon decided to give me the John Dalmas Award, which is similar to WorldCon's Big Heart Award for people in the RadCon family. calendula_witch accepted it for me, while markferrari represented me as literally as possible there. shelly_rae brought me my own weekend of love and friendship while everyone was off celebrating.

When I mentioned casually on Twitter that I wouldn't be buying an iPad this year because cancer is eating my wallet, Marti McKenna and bhagwanx organized a cast of dozens to buy me an iPad when the devices come out. You all know who you are, and so do I, but I'm not yet prepared to publicly thank everyone, because I'm not sure everyone involved intended their role to be public. I continue humbled.

Yesterday, the_child spent four hours of her free weekend time to reorganize my office, post-move, as a Valentine's Day present. Unbidden, unlooked for, and she did a smart, clever job of it. A very tangible "I love you" from daughter to dad, one that I will recall every day when I sit down at my desk.

My life is filled with love. The love of my friends and family, the love of writers, fans and even strangers. Most of all the love of calendula_witch and shelly_rae.

Happy Valentine's Day. I will never be able to give it back, all I can do is love in return.

Thank you. I love you all.

Tags: awards, calendula, cancer, child, conventions, family, health, personal, shellyrae

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