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Jay Lake
Date: 2010-02-17 05:50
Subject: [cancer] A good day, but...
Security: Public
Tags:calendula, cancer, health, personal
Yesterday was a very good day in the cancer wars, except at the bitter end. My side effects were as light as they've been in weeks, I was feeling rested, and having both fjm and calendula_witch here is very entertaining.

After jet lag had dropped fjm, and I was about ready to go to sleep my own self, , I passed a small amount of tissue with my last bowel movement of the day. This freaked me out deeply. Back in April of 2008, the original indicator that took me to the ER for what became this entire journey of cancer was similar problem, albeit with blood rather than tissue.

I've had very little of the Fear since we've embarked on the treatment course for the lung metastasis last November. Activity is always better than waiting, at least for my psyche. Last night the Fear came roaring back on the heels of that little bit of business. I sobbed my eyes out while calendula_witch held me, and finally went to sleep because there wasn't anything else to do but lie there and be deeply miserable.

I feel a lot better this morning. This likely doesn't amount to much of anything, as I'm shedding all kinds of stuff due to the chemo processes. But it definitely triggered a flashback of sorts, and it knocked me hard at the end of what was otherwise a terrific day.

Like I needed to be reminded of how much cancer sucks.

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Kari Sperring
User: la_marquise_de_
Date: 2010-02-17 14:05 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I can see how worrying that must have been. We are out here thinking of you. Lots of love.
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User: adelheid_p
Date: 2010-02-17 15:19 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I can totally understand your reaction to that. As a previous commenter said, we are here.
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User: markbourne
Date: 2010-02-17 16:52 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Yes we are. (Caption to an Obama-style poster of Jay.)
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User: desperance
Date: 2010-02-17 22:08 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Yup. As above.
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shelly_rae: Spoons
User: shelly_rae
Date: 2010-02-18 07:32 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
So glad the witch was there for you. Take care. Love.
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User: austspecfic
Date: 2010-02-19 07:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
My thoughts are with you. Also say hi to Farah for me (that is if she remembers me at all) lol. So glad you have such good friends looking after you.
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