Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[cancer] Yesterday sucked

Well, that was the hardest Monday I've had yet. The extreme fatigue of the weekend (a whole new order of magnitude of an already existing, severe problem0 translated into a miserable Monday. I wound up taking time off the Day Jobbe despite my best intentions. Spent much of the day sitting or lying down, went to bed quite early armed with Lorazepam. So far I feel ok today, but, wow...

I hope like blazes that the next rounds of infusion don't follow this pattern. I am giving credence to shelly_rae's theory that last week's cold wipe me out so that I didn't have even my minimal reserves to cope with chemo. I just hadn't realized how much further I could sink.

calendula_witch and shelly_rae had a good weekend. Emotionally, mine wasn't bad, beyond the hideous fatigue. They got a lot done. Last night calendula_witch presented me with a hilarious gift that I understand desperance and klwilliams helped her with. You guys get up to a lot down there in San Francisco, don't you?

I am cancelling all my social plans this week except Thursday's reading at Powell's Cedar Hills for Pinion. This means missing kateyule's birthday party, the Fireside Writers Group, a couple of lunches and a dinner. But it's perfectly clear to me that I need to maximize my rest right now. And given that I lost my tax prep weekend to the cold a week and a half ago, I need some mental and physical energy for it this coming weekend.

Still, I'm amazed at how bad yesterday was for me. This stuff keeps reaching new lows. If I were a praying man, I'd be on my knees begging for strength in the next go-round.

Meanwhile, shelly_rae departed yesterday afternoon. calendula_witch leaves today. I will be home alone a while. This is probably good for my resting state, but my heart is always happier in company.

Tags: books, calendula, cancer, health, personal, pinion, shellyrae

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