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Jay Lake
Date: 2010-03-30 19:21
Subject: [personal] More medical crap
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, child, family, health, personal
Mother of the Child's treatment course continues non-obvious, though we do have a firm diagnosis. Doctors at hospital A want to transfer Mother of the Child to hospital B, as her ER admit is related to a complication from a minor surgery this morning at hospital B. Hospital B has agreed to accept her, but apparently this is very complex. I am fading fast due to chemo fatigue. the_child is taking things badly, and staying with a friend tonight. My family is on deck and covering, but this is getting difficult and painful. Probably no updates til tomorrow.

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User: brownkitty
Date: 2010-03-31 02:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Good luck, and sending affection and support.
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User: adelheid_p
Date: 2010-03-31 02:40 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
It sounds like you have good local support. You and your family are in my thoughts.
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User: cuddlycthulhu
Date: 2010-03-31 02:40 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
You guys are in my thoughts. 8(
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User: joycemocha
Date: 2010-03-31 03:08 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hugs, for you and your family.
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The Empress of Ice Cream
User: icecreamempress
Date: 2010-03-31 03:16 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
So sorry. My best to all of you, and especially to the_child--having two parents in the midst of medical stuff at the same time can be overwhelming.
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smoking catnip and chasing my tail
User: jettcat
Date: 2010-03-31 03:41 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
*sending extra spoons*
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Leah Cutter: Stress lab 2
User: lrcutter
Date: 2010-03-31 04:25 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Stress lab 2

::more hugs::

I've been sick. I'm afraid I'll make you sick. But I would come down to help if you think it would help. Can stay until Sunday, when I have to fly to SF for the Day Job.
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Lisa Deutsch Harrigan
User: lisa_marli
Date: 2010-03-31 04:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
*hugs* Your family just doesn't seem to get a break.
I hope your DD's mother gets better soon.
*more hugs*
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User: curiositist
Date: 2010-03-31 05:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Add me to the list of **hug**s for you, the child, and her mom.
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User: martianmooncrab
Date: 2010-03-31 05:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
When my Dad was in the ER with head trauma, my Wicked Evil Stepmommy was up in a ward in the same hospital from colon surgery earlier in the week. I was a 43 yr old child that was very stressed, and my comfort zone ended up being the walk between ICU and her ward. Timing sucked. No amount of logic helps, but, making sure your daughter has access is best.
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Kate Mulligan Wolfe: QuaintCategories
User: corasmama
Date: 2010-03-31 07:13 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Cora, same age as the child, is dealing with a lot of similar issues (sick mom, sick sister-to-be, father 2800 miles away.) Would it help them, do you think, to have a pen pal or just someone to chat with who's been there? Sometimes, all the grownup, family help in the world, isn't the same as someone who is your age (and therefore "gets you" like us grownups just CAN'T, you know!) and having similar problems.
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User: mevennen
Date: 2010-03-31 07:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Best wishes to all.
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Kari Sperring
User: la_marquise_de_
Date: 2010-03-31 10:08 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Oh, ffs, Jay. You don't deserve all this. Much, much good energy to you all.
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Twilight: EveryoneNeedsGramSometimes
User: twilight2000
Date: 2010-03-31 15:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I have an idea how The Child feels - when I came home from college my firsts summer, my uncle went into the hospital for cancer, my grandmother did as well - my dad went ini for a hernia operation (tho we thought it was something bigger at that point) and my mom (single parent) lost her job - all making me think I should stop coming home. And that was at 19.

Someone (your mom sounds like the best bet if she's healthy enough) should have whatever The Child's equivalent of tea parties is with her - as much as possible. Let her talk, let her be sad, encourage her where possible - but mostly just *be* with her. Like my kid, she's an "only" - so no sisters to cuddle up to - and at any age it's scary when both parents are sick.

If she wants to, let her just sit with you as you stare at DVD's - just being in the room with you might be reassuring. If she'd rather not, your mom and dad can take turns playing scrabble with her (or whatever) - letting her be alone is cool too - just not for too long a stretch - she should have people she can trust around her.

Good thoughts for you all this week especially.

Edited at 2010-03-31 03:38 pm (UTC)
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