Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[cancer|personal] Various updates

Mother of the Child is still in ICU. They're hoping to transfer her today to a general ward. She may come home Saturday. The high-risk aspects seem to be passing, and surgery so far has not been required. the_child came home last night and exhibited coping skills of various constructive sorts. I'll be briefly visiting the hospital later this morning (with my own immune system issues, I can't hang out there), and continuing to track her progress.

Stress has eaten me badly this week. Got a decent amount of sleep last night, at least. Shedding Day seems to be Shedding Week this time, but as one of my classic (pre-cancer) stress responses is significant lower GI disruption, there's no real way to evaluate how much of the ongoing, rather spectacular lower GI distress is chemo side effect and how much of it is life stress.

Of significant irritation is my lack of writing time. Between the emotional stress and the overwhelming fatigue, I just haven't picked up the threads yet this week. This is the first time since post-surgical recovery I've let it stop me cold, and that really makes me unhappy.

On the personal front, I'm receiving an immense amount of support from my family, from calendula_witch and shelly_rae, my friends, Mother of the Child's friends, and so forth. That is gratifying. At the same time, a fair number of people are expressing their support by telling me what I should do, in some cases at length in very strong terms. I'm getting rather tired of being lectured about how I should treat myself, treat my child, eat, sleep, do or don't visit Mother of the Child. Advice and support is very welcome, but I really am a competent adult, even now, and do understand both my strengths and my weaknesses, as well as my risks and obligations.

Still doing the Powell's reading tonight, because, damn it, I am not giving up on my role as a writer. I may not be laying down words this week (and how it hurts to say that) but I will go stand up with my book and talk to whoever shows. Being as how we unknowingly scheduled the reading for the first day of Norwescon, I've already lost a lot of my natural audience, so I expect it to be thin, but I'll be there.

Tags: books, calendula, cancer, child, conventions, family, personal, pinion, shellyrae

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