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An author of no particular popularity

Jay Lake
Date: 2010-04-01 06:09
Subject: [cancer|personal] Various updates
Security: Public
Tags:books, calendula, cancer, child, conventions, family, personal, pinion, shellyrae
Mother of the Child is still in ICU. They're hoping to transfer her today to a general ward. She may come home Saturday. The high-risk aspects seem to be passing, and surgery so far has not been required. the_child came home last night and exhibited coping skills of various constructive sorts. I'll be briefly visiting the hospital later this morning (with my own immune system issues, I can't hang out there), and continuing to track her progress.

Stress has eaten me badly this week. Got a decent amount of sleep last night, at least. Shedding Day seems to be Shedding Week this time, but as one of my classic (pre-cancer) stress responses is significant lower GI disruption, there's no real way to evaluate how much of the ongoing, rather spectacular lower GI distress is chemo side effect and how much of it is life stress.

Of significant irritation is my lack of writing time. Between the emotional stress and the overwhelming fatigue, I just haven't picked up the threads yet this week. This is the first time since post-surgical recovery I've let it stop me cold, and that really makes me unhappy.

On the personal front, I'm receiving an immense amount of support from my family, from calendula_witch and shelly_rae, my friends, Mother of the Child's friends, and so forth. That is gratifying. At the same time, a fair number of people are expressing their support by telling me what I should do, in some cases at length in very strong terms. I'm getting rather tired of being lectured about how I should treat myself, treat my child, eat, sleep, do or don't visit Mother of the Child. Advice and support is very welcome, but I really am a competent adult, even now, and do understand both my strengths and my weaknesses, as well as my risks and obligations.

Still doing the Powell's reading tonight, because, damn it, I am not giving up on my role as a writer. I may not be laying down words this week (and how it hurts to say that) but I will go stand up with my book and talk to whoever shows. Being as how we unknowingly scheduled the reading for the first day of Norwescon, I've already lost a lot of my natural audience, so I expect it to be thin, but I'll be there.

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barry_king: Strada
User: barry_king
Date: 2010-04-01 15:28 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Sorry to hear how stressed-out you're feeling. Hang in there, J! Good on you for keeping busy.
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The NewroticGirl
User: newroticgirl
Date: 2010-04-01 15:37 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
biomekanic and I will be there! I bet he'll even wear a Hawaiian shirt. :)
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User: markbourne
Date: 2010-04-01 16:07 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
No advice or admonishments as we have none to give. Just know that you're in our hearts and heads (at night we can feel you clawing to get out, but that just makes us check the locks).

Pleased that you're doing the Powell's reading and we wish we could be there. Even when you're not laying down the good words, you are still a Writer with a capital "Wry".
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User: adelheid_p
Date: 2010-04-01 16:15 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
You and family continue to be in my thoughts. I know it's difficult to be lectured but try to understand those people also mean well and I hope they also understand when you express your frustration and remind them that you are a big boy and can take care of yourself. To me, you are remarkably in touch with your own physical and mental state and can gauge quite well when you need to take care of yourself. I understand that you are frustrated that you have been unable to write during this time but I want to echo that you have set your priorities correctly in taking care of the_child and her mother. I'm confident this will pass and you will get back to writing because, as you have pointed out yourself, you are a Writer.
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The Empress of Ice Cream
User: icecreamempress
Date: 2010-04-01 16:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Such hard stuff for you all to be dealing with. I wish you all unlimited amounts of cope--if I had a map to the Cope Mines, I would gladly share it.
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Kari Sperring
User: la_marquise_de_
Date: 2010-04-01 16:45 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Herewith a hug, to be used at your discretion.
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2010-04-01 17:17 (UTC)
Subject: No Lectures
No lectures here. If I had to deal with everything you are right now, the nice young men in the nice white coats would be coming to take me away, ha ha!

Seriously, hang in there, Jay!
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User: talekyn
Date: 2010-04-01 18:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Even if my annual work trip to Portland had not been given to another person this year, I'd still have missed your reading at Powell's by a week. But I'd love to be there to meet you in person and hear you talk.

I tripped across your story (novella) in Subterranean Press magazine yesterday and am looking forward to reading it.
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User: martianmooncrab
Date: 2010-04-01 18:57 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
do what is best for The Child, and for You. You are the best gauge for what you can do.

Eat dessert first though... grin.
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User: kzmiller
Date: 2010-04-02 04:10 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Wonderful reading. I had a great time! I would have come up and said so, but you had quite the turn out and I can wait to say hey on a Fat Straw day.
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User: shaolingrrl
Date: 2010-04-02 04:42 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hugs to you and The Child, and I hope Mother of the Child can come home soon.

The Child must be scared, but she is your daughter, and thus an extraordinary human being.
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