Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[cancer] Wrapup on infusion seven

Infusion session seven of twelve is over, though the aftereffects are not. I am past the halfway point. The overwhelming side effects this time were fatigue (though not nearly as bad as session six), and emotional distress. The fatigue I know how to handle, as much as I hate it. The emotional distress was a bit tougher. I spent a bunch of time feeling insecure, unlovable and just flat down. And I did a poor job of managing it. I made calendula_witch cry at least once.

Sigh.

Awake and functional today, lower GI is re-engaging. During the pre-infusion consultation on Friday, the oncology nurse practitioner gave us a word to describe a digestive issue, which I promptly lost. Basically, it's the sense that after I've sat down and passed stool, I have to spend another 15 or 20 minutes with the feeling there's more to come. Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn't. The phantom feeling a name, something like "surissis", but it dropped right out of my head. Lots of that going on, especially right after the infusion ETA: Felicitous Sk8er informs me the word I want is "tenesmus".

Amusingly, the same oncology n-p, when I'd described all the stresses and weirdness of the previous two weeks (Mother of the Child in the hospital, shelly_rae injuring her foot, me being so ragged, etc.), asked me why I wasn't drinking. In fact, she recommended we all take up drinking. I think she was kidding.

So now I roll into another 11 days without new poisons in my system. shelly_rae goes home first thing this morning. calendula_witch goes home first thing tomorrow morning. Hoping to finish the first draft of "The Stars Do Not Lie" by Wednesday or Thursday. Then deadlines for Endurance and the Sekrit Projekt. Life goes on, as it has the habit of doing.

Tags: books, calendula, cancer, endurance, health, shellyrae, stories, writing
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