Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[cancer] More roughness

GI stuff cleared slowly and painfully yesterday, finally getting more or less back to normal around midnight, along with a rather literalized dream that Big Science was happening down in my colon. Which, in a sense, it is, as I still alive after these past two years, thanks to multiple interventions from the Big Medicine branch of Big Science.

shelly_rae departed a day late, though she is always welcome and beloved here. calendula_witch continues ill. jkoke is kind of the last man standing.

Whilst the latter two of them were out dealing with House Stuff for calendula_witch's new pad, I was treated to a severe set of extended meltdowns by the usual residents. This on post-chemo Monday, when I am barely fit for licking stamps. I wound up eating lightly and going to bed even earlier than normal, as the day had completely defeated me.

All of this continually reminds me that world goes on with chemo. Nobody has a magic "get out of jail free" card, least of all me. But damn it's hard sometimes. Especially when your gut is telling you that you've got half a yard of concrete setting up in there, and your stomach is begging for food and retching at the same time, and everyone around you is unraveling.

Life, it's for living. If chemo was easy, all the cool kids would be doing it.

Tags: calendula, cancer, child, family, personal, shellyrae
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