Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[cancer] Sleeping the sleep of the ungrateful dead

Eleven and a half hours in bed last night. Zonked out just about right at 7:30 pm, woke up slightly after 7:00 am. I did have a 30 minute GI-related excursion around 4:00 am, so really it was only eleven hours of sleep. And yes, I had taken a Lorazepam before bed.

No human being should sleep that much. It's an insane waste of time, energy and lost consciousness.

On the other hand, I feel better this morning than I have in days. Not good in any meaningful sense, mind you, still quite wretched physically, but my mental energy is far better, and the peripheral neuropathy is very much at the edges, not the center of my focus. Still awfully flat, just not nearly as unhappy about it. Amazing what the human mind will adapt to.

I wonder if I have been battling a minor bug of one sort or another. Nothing like the horrific course of calendula_witch's ongoing evil cold, but the excessive sleeping coupled with a decent uptick in my well-being suggests I may have been getting over something these past few days. Given that I'm the Toxic Avenger these days, it does amaze me that any ordinary microflora could find my system particularly hospitable. Macrofauna certainly do not.

tillyjane has been here a couple of days, puttering and keeping an eye on me. I might even venture out of the house midday with Dad's assistance. (I am still nowhere near well enough to drive, and at this point doubt I will be driving again until chemo is over in late June.)

Brain continues to be awake in the mornings, including today. I function. But damn do I hate sleeping my life away, as I've already burned more than half my "brain awake" time.

Tags: calendula, cancer, family, health, personal

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