Even dancing the Lorazepam tango did not save me last night. This was in part due to a sudden and in retrospect highly misplaced enthusiasm for homemade macaroni and cheese. Let's just say that my cyclical lactose intolerance hadn't receded as far as I'd thought, and draw the curtain of good taste over the resulting atmospherics and projectile emissions. It's damned hard to fall asleep when your gut is cramping and your hindquarters are playing "Anacreon in Heaven" in four-part harmony.
I had a complicated dream I'm not even going to try to recount here. Suffice to say it was a combination of soft core porn, music hall comedy and Grand Guignol, featuring Betty White in a hot tub, my first wife, various conspiracy theories and a wide selection of 1920's automotive technology.
No, I don't want to talk about it. I may be scarred for life by this one.