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Lakeshore
An author of no particular popularity

Jay Lake
Date: 2010-06-09 05:48
Subject: [cancer] Retreat from the ragged edge
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, child, dreams, family, health, personal
As noted previously, yesterday was pretty much handcrafted of USDA grade A failure. My utter lack of sleep Monday night caused me to pretty much turn into a wax dummy by about 10 am. For the second time since this whole thing started, I had to take unscheduled sick time. (As opposed to the infusion sessions, which are pre-planned.) maclarke2005 came by a while, as did my parents, and the_child spent a couple of hours here. I fairly much do need to be watched over when I'm that messed up, because I have a tendency to do goofy things like forget to eat, which is bad.

Did sleep well last night, even if I was dreaming of scalzi, cats, and a post-apocalyptic art school. Ah, the wells of imagination are drilled deep into my subconscious.

As for the past few days, other than the sleep issues, lower GI restart was holy hell, too. I've been taking Senekot (a stool softener) mornings and evenings starting a few days before the infusion, because I've noted sometimes the shutdown comes early. I can only attribute that to pre-infusion stress, as there's no medical reason for my GI to quit prior to the drugs hitting me. This got me through Friday (infusion day one) with some lower GI activity. This is good, because the fewer days I'm shut down, the less miserable the recovery, in general. One cycle I was shut down for five days, and that was truly horrendous to recover from.

I even restarted on Sunday this cycle, which is pretty unusual. But even with the Senekot, the movements have been pretty brutal. And somewhat unusually, even as they built up in frequency and volume — eight yesterday and overnight, amounting to shall we say a quite considerable net volume — they didn't get any easier. This led to a lot of serious discomfort and not a little cussing.

Every time I think I understand this process and how my body handles it, things juke a different way. One more, then I can climb out. Otherwise I'd be on my way to bed-ridden.

I swear I'm walking away from this damned trainwreck with my head held high.

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Kari Sperring
User: la_marquise_de_
Date: 2010-06-09 13:22 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
High and proud.
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Renfield
User: cuddlycthulhu
Date: 2010-06-09 14:25 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I swear I'm walking away from this damned trainwreck with my head held high.

I hear that's the best way to do it. Only one more to go, Jay, we're cheering for you.
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ferragus: WarTuba
User: ferragus
Date: 2010-06-09 14:37 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:WarTuba
Dude, you gotta right to be proud!

Hell, second day of unscheduled sick leave time since this started is an amazing accomplishment!

I'm supposedly healthy and during this ordeal for you I've have had at least that many days of USL!

Hang in there!
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scarlettina: Write hard die free
User: scarlettina
Date: 2010-06-09 16:14 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Write hard die free
I swear I'm walking away from this damned trainwreck with my head held high.

Yes, sir. Yes, you are.
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Twilight: Bright Outlook
User: twilight2000
Date: 2010-06-09 16:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Bright Outlook
I swear I'm walking away from this damned trainwreck with my head held high.

And your friends cheering you on!
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zxhrue: please do not put the bones
User: zxhrue
Date: 2010-06-09 17:30 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:please do not put the bones

For the second time since this whole thing started, I had to take unscheduled sick time.

frankly I'm astonished at this. it is a remarkable indicator of sheer will.

one more.
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e_bourne
User: e_bourne
Date: 2010-06-09 18:34 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hugs and love. You're almost there, then the climb out, which will be so much better than the descent into hell.
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Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2010-06-10 01:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
But slow... I know you know from slow. Expectation management will be a big factor in late June and through July.
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Stone of stumbling and rock of offense
User: wordweaverlynn
Date: 2010-06-10 08:46 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
You've been fighting this with great courage, and I salute you.
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