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[cancer] Partying like it's 2010, because who knows what tomorrow brings - Lakeshore — LiveJournal
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Jay Lake
Date: 2010-07-03 07:14
Subject: [cancer] Partying like it's 2010, because who knows what tomorrow brings
Security: Public
Tags:calendula, cancer, conventions, health, jaycon, personal, shellyrae
shelly_rae is sleeping peacefully as I write this. I'm so glad she's here. For the first time I'm not on the pump since January. (This would have been an infusion weekend, if I'd had another round.) calendula_witch, jkoke and karawynn were here yesterday sharing a nice Salvadoran dinner from El Palenque with me and the_child. And today, JayCon X.

I'm definitely coming out the other side of chemo. Not that isn't a long, slow journey, but I can mark my progress almost daily. Last night over dinner I made a horrendously bad, quick-witted, literary dirty joke (well, pun, really). calendula_witch looked at me said, "Yep, you're back."

Some of the time, at least.

This party today is important to me. I survived. Again. A disease erupted from within my body, an inner assassin, a genetic error that has tried twice to kill me. I am still here. After leading an eremetic existence for these past months, seeing people I know and love, meeting online friends in person for the first time, and hopefully some totally new folks as well be both a practical reconnection to my social web and something of a ritual for me.

The reality is still pretty rough. Peripheral neuropathy continues to deepen. Fatigue is a constant companion. My GI still fights me more than it really should. But my mind is waking back up. And I feel a bit better every day. A bit more like myself.

We will know on the 19th if there are any further metastases established. We will know in late August if there are further colon polyps or candidate tumors. And we will never truly know if we have succeeded with this treatment, only that we continue not to fail. That's my best case. But I'm running with it. And today I celebrate.

Post A Comment | 17 Comments | | Link






scarlettina: Happy birthday cupcake!
User: scarlettina
Date: 2010-07-03 14:24 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Happy birthday cupcake!
I'll see you this afternoon, Jay. Looking forward to it. Happy birthday, cupcake!
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Brenda Cooper
User: bjcooper
Date: 2010-07-03 14:27 (UTC)
Subject: See you this afternoon!
I'll be down on my way to Bend to hang with my brother. I'll have the dog in the car,so I probably won't stay long, but I'm looking forward to delivering you a congratulatory hug.
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User: twinkelbelpeach
Date: 2010-07-03 14:46 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I'm way down in Georgia, but I'm wishing you well across the miles.
Party on dude!
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Matthew S. Rotundo: Me with bird
User: matthewsrotundo
Date: 2010-07-03 14:59 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Me with bird
Party on, my friend, and enjoy.
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Keikaimalu
User: keikaimalu
Date: 2010-07-03 15:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
There is something magical, almost sacred, about returning to yourself after being knocked down by something physical. I think it's mostly relief, because on some level, when you're down at the bottom, part of you just doesn't believe you'll ever ascend again. When you finally do -- for me, it's like everything is visually sharper, like the sky has never been so blue, the sun so bright and warm.

So glad to hear that you're coming back. Sending strong wishes for a cancer-free future for you.
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madrobins
User: madrobins
Date: 2010-07-03 15:52 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Celebrate, man. I'm there with you in spirit.

As for: we continue not to fail. I have greater aspirations for you. Thrive, dammit. For years and years ahead.
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daveraines
User: daveraines
Date: 2010-07-03 16:06 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hey Jay, I won't be there, but wishing you much hilarity.
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Karen
User: klwilliams
Date: 2010-07-03 16:09 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
And every day celebrate. I'm glad you're coming back.
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Renfield
User: cuddlycthulhu
Date: 2010-07-03 16:16 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Enjoy today, sir. I'd say that after reading everything the last few months you've certainly earned it.
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Brent "Chip" Edwards: happywolf
User: chipuni
Date: 2010-07-03 18:14 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:happywolf
Happy birthday, Jay. You survived. Congratulations!
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martianmooncrab
User: martianmooncrab
Date: 2010-07-03 19:24 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Have a good time at your party!
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MEG: jumping penguin
User: djelibeybi
Date: 2010-07-03 20:05 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:jumping penguin
You are an inspiration to me and probably to many others too. I hope your day is filled with many reasons to smile and be thankful, and your future long and healthy.


Have a trademark Jumping Penguin
  to celebrate your anniversary and
               the end of chemo.
djelibeybi_meg
Jump! Jump! Skip! Skip! Hop! Jump!

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triskelmoon: nerd
User: triskelmoon
Date: 2010-07-04 01:26 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:nerd
I'm so glad I finally got to meet you. Your friends and daughter were incredibly sweet and awesome. I look forward to many years of JayCons in the future.
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Jay Lake
User: jaylake
Date: 2010-07-12 00:46 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Thank you so much for coming! It was great to meet you and your son.
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Twilight
User: twilight2000
Date: 2010-07-04 03:15 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hope the celebration was FANTABULOUS!!! Glad to see you coming back (not the least surprised ;>)
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M.K. Hobson
User: mkhobson
Date: 2010-07-04 03:57 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I'm so glad you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and it isn't the train. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be there today ... I woke up with one of those lay-in-a-dark-room-and-wish-you-were-dead migranes and that was all she wrote.

Feliz Navidad, Jay. May you enjoy many more.

M

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shaolingrrl
User: shaolingrrl
Date: 2010-07-04 20:48 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
When you feel up to it, consider tai chi. Seriously. One of my kung fu brothers is in your area and he is amazing.
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