Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[cancer] My state of independence

JayCon X was wonderful. Perhaps sixty people came and went. We ate an alarming amount of pizza. Lots of chattering and visiting and me seeing people I hadn't seen in months, or in a few cases, a year or more. Also meeting a few new-to-me-in-real-life online friends. Silly gifts were presented, including several vuvuzelas (you know who you are, vuvuzela-givers, and there will be vengeance).

More to the point, I was out, about and in one piece. Focused. Alert. Social. Yes, exhausted. Yes, limiting my mobility and activity. Yes, wiped out to the point of immobile later. But out in the world.

The chemically-induced introversion and chronic exhaustion of chemotherapy lifted long enough yesterday for me to see my state of independence. And every step forward is a gain, because even when I backslide, it's only a little.

Happy Fourth, everyone for whom it is a meaningful holiday. For the rest of you, have a great weekend.

Tags: cancer, conventions, health, jaycon, personal
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