Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[personal|cancer] Shambling toward an uncertain future

calendula_witch describes the weekend better than I could. Quiet and peaceful, with beach walks and photography and some good, low-key time with my parents and the_child.

Off to Seattle in a few hours for a Day Jobbe client meeting late this afternoon. I'll be back home tomorrow, probably hit Fireside Writers after work. Wednesday we meet with the liver surgeon.

Lots of anxiety lurking in the background, so being busy is probably good. I tend to be at my worst in an information vacuum, when it comes to these kinds of issues. Any plan is better than no plan, and right now we have no plan. Are we going to Australia? What's really going on in my liver? What are the odds of me escaping another round of chemo? How much worse have my mortality statistics gotten?

You'd think this stuff would keep me awake nights, but I'm sleeping like a rock. Too many hours for my taste, but ain't that the way?

So, fundamentally, no news here until Wednesday. I think I'll go listen to the Doors' "Roadhouse Blues", because in my life the future is uncertain and the end is always near.

Tags: calendula, cancer, child, personal, seattle, travel, work
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