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[cancer] Life's only a metaphor anyway - Lakeshore — LiveJournal
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Jay Lake
Date: 2010-08-11 05:49
Subject: [cancer] Life's only a metaphor anyway
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, health, movies, personal, work
Last night I dreamt my own death. It wasn't literalized, was in fact highly metaphorical even for dreamspace, but I knew this for what it was. The situation involved top fuel dragsters, some of my co-workers from the Day Jobbe, and the cast from the recent Star Trek reboot, in character. Ultimately there was a botched beheading, and pale white blood.

I have got to get a handle on these emotional reactions to the apparent return of my cancer. (Now! Held over due to popular demand! SRO!) And I will, once we have some direction and a better sense of the treatment plan. But for the moment, the odd thoughts and disturbing dreams and emotional eddies are here.

Liver surgeon in a few hours. Then we'll know more.

Post A Comment | 11 Comments | | Link






Kari Sperring
User: la_marquise_de_
Date: 2010-08-11 12:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I shall be lighting candles and thinking of you.
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torreybird
User: torreybird
Date: 2010-08-11 13:34 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Whatever you do, DON'T WEAR A RED SHIRT. :-(
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Gary Emenitove
User: garyomaha
Date: 2010-08-11 20:20 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
LOL
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e_bourne
User: e_bourne
Date: 2010-08-11 14:26 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Liver surgeon in a few hours will help. Not a sentence I thought I'd ever be typing. Who ever thought the words "liver surgeon" and "help" might go together?

It's just holding on for a little longer, dear friend.
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barbarienne
User: barbarienne
Date: 2010-08-11 14:55 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Oi. What else can one say?
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threeoutside
User: threeoutside
Date: 2010-08-11 15:19 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Good thoughts your way, dude.
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User: joycemocha
Date: 2010-08-11 16:16 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hold on, my dear. Hold on.

It was so sweet last night to see you light up and tell Day Jobbe stories. I thoroughly enjoyed that, and hope you did as well.

It's the ambiguity. None of us do well with it. I'm hoping that part of mine will get resolved today as well. I'm ready to get back to writing.
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Talekyn
User: talekyn
Date: 2010-08-11 17:26 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Sending good thoughts your direction (and to that liver surgeon too, that he/she be smart, capable and have good bedside manner).

A Twitter friend was talking about Lucid Dreaming last night. I have never experienced it, but I wonder if there's any research linking lucid dreaming to healing...
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zellandyne
User: zellandyne
Date: 2010-08-11 18:26 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
*hugs*
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scarlettina
User: scarlettina
Date: 2010-08-11 20:14 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Thinking of you, Jay.
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Gary Emenitove
User: garyomaha
Date: 2010-08-11 20:22 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Muggy, sweaty, hot, schfitzy Omaha hugs. (Not that that description makes them desirable.)
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